Don’t flower rose.

Don’t flower rose.

The heart is like a lost cat, with its big green and dark eyes open. At night, it glows green light, tossing and turning. When I was very tired, it often happened to fall asleep. Now I am afraid of the leisure time. I am extremely bored and can’t see any bright colors. The dream at night is much more special, running, weird, sad, but only lacking joy. Many old friends will shuttle back and forth into dreams from time to time, laughing and watching my current life. In a half-asleep and half-awake state, I want to turn over and grope for my mobile phone, log on Weibo, and record the story that is happening with short words, but I can’t find it. I thought, shouldn’t I have a little nostalgia? I haven’t been lying in the sun for a long time, and I feel happy. Most of the time was busy doing nothing, but in the end there was no objective ending and it was a common thing to end up hastily. I am afraid of being forgotten and the days without sunshine. Don’t be a rose, the words suddenly flashed in my mind, I want to write down every painting of it very carefully, no matter it is paranoid or capricious. What I made was such a rose. Not long ago, on a sunny morning, the sun gently sprinkled on me. I sat in the back row of the bus, opened the window, and the wind slowly welcomed me, the hair around my ears danced lightly. At that moment, I laughed alone. Maybe I loved this kind of myself more. But in the next minute, the newspaper station on the radio made me have to get up and leave. You see, such warmth does not last long. I haven’t used a pencil to write words for a long time. On that whim, I bought a pencil and turned its tip round and round with a pencil sharpener, as my right hand rotates on the paper. The shaped font appeared on the paper with an eraser next to it. It seems that when I was a child, around the first grade, I would write down rows of simple words on the paper one by one every day, which were skew and bulky, but revealed sincerity. If you don’t come, I will go. This sentence was a wonderful love story, but I suddenly wanted to use it to commemorate my childhood. If you leave, I will follow you. I know, if you leave, it means I can’t go back. Those yellowed photos, paper cranes hanging on the ceiling, certificates of merit attached to the wall, thick spider webs and dust-covered past, even if they were brushed off by hands, could not touch the initial stability and mood. You said, should I go. If you rent in a small house, you can hear the noise from the man upstairs from time to time. Sing today, play tomorrow and pull the day after tomorrow. I was thinking that if he was from the Conservatory of Music, it would be a tragedy. In less than two months, I really said goodbye to my student career. Since the end of the new year, I have been busy all the time. It has not stabilized, but I have to face the pressure from life. I also want to do everything well, such as having an enviable career, a stable life and a clever face. And these are just not my strengths. Friends, they talked with me day by day, made friends with me, and constantly persuaded me that the outside world was real but not wonderful. If you can’t endure it, go home. Now, how can I go back? What kind of identity should I go back? I don’t know, I really don’t know. Timid, afraid when something happens, empty heart, no strength. You said, what should I do to make myself fearless. In the end, I was just a mortal among thousands of people. Humble, small, without any light. However, I also know that I am different from others. What makes me unique is what others don’t have. Women are a complex of contradictions, but one day a man said to me, this is the so-called work. This work is the product of your hesitation and your thinking. I know, this is undeniable. The man who said this to me had not been seen for several days. I almost couldn’t remember his appearance. I only knew that he was popular with girls and liked to smoke a cigarette from time to time. He talked a lot, but it is not disgusting. Well, anyway, I won’t meet again. It’s better if I don’t remember. Remember be it. There were also two boxes of coffee at the table. During the Spring Festival, they reached a state of obsession and drank every night. Then they sat alone in the living room staring at the TV, thinking about those naive dreams, I hope it can come true one day. This was also the reason why I didn’t dare to write for a long time. After all, I was afraid that writing like this would not make the pencil characters printed. Read a lot of novels, such as Annie Baby, Guo Jingming, Yu Hua, Spring Village tree, fall, Cangyang jiatuo, Nalan Xingde, Anthony, Han Han…. Then a person falls into every paragraph of text and cannot help himself. I just tried to make myself smile, but found that my mouth was cramping. It was like trying a new thing for the first time. I twitched with wonder and tension. There is the sound of running water, which is the flushing sound of the upstairs toilet. The room was very quiet. Except for the sound of keyboard tapping, others came from outside the door, such as the barking of dogs upstairs, the singing upstairs and the sound of water upstairs. All this was heard by me, but it had nothing to do with me. I haven’t contacted my family for nearly a week. I think about them more often, but I know that my shy feelings can only stop thinking about this step, it’s just a few simple words to call back. On the contrary, when there is a phone call two weeks, there will be more topics, and there will be no talk after frequent calls. Well. I admit. My family, I miss you. And I will take good care of myself, and you will do the same. Some stories are no longer stories when they arrive here. And I just want to peel off my heart step by step and talk with the keyboard with my hands. Whether my handwriting is delicate or artificial. It has nothing to do with others. Good morning? Good afternoon? Good night. I hope everything goes well in the following life.

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