Amber

The one who often walked in the corridor was a water deliveryman in his thirties. His back bent for a long time, and his temper naturally became soft. He met a picky hostess, maybe he had to squint and complain that he stepped on the dirty floor. Besides explaining vaguely in an incomprehensible dialect, he could only turn back and forth, the little daughter who came to the door respectfully was still waiting for him at the door, so the girl couldn’t imagine the scene in the room. Through a door, he finally held his dignity as a father. What is waiting for them is the next stairs and the next door. This kind of story is still being continued, but don’t give away the overwhelming sympathy casually, because we are used to misinterpreting others’ happiness as humbleness or even pain wishfully, unconsciously, I ignored the expression of love wrapped in a rough coat like sand. The girl is very happy, isn’t she? There will always be a tall guardian in such a big world. Even if he has to bend down to make a living, his father still protects his daughter’s self-esteem with his self-esteem, which is the reason for his father’s self-esteem. In the law of love in nature, male animals’ emotions seem to be labeled as dull and dull forever, like semi-finished products lying alone in the corner. Father is not understood, so we can only yearn for the sentence of Beidao that you call me to be a son, and I follow you to be a father, but I can’t really fight with him; Father is stubborn or even extreme, as a result, we can only see morbid numbness from “medicine”, but we can’t reflect the heart of the son who is almost crazy. Sad parents, give birth to me. After giving us life, father played an awkward role in family life. The daughter got worldly wisdom from her mother, so one day she began to criticize her father’s bad habits; The son got tenderness and thoughtfulness from her mother, so one day I got tired of my father’s silence and irpatience. When eulogizing maternal love becomes a habit, we also naturally freeze father’s love. But Father, willing to be an ornament and decoration, whether you love or not, he is still there, whether you are sad or not, no matter you accept or refuse, his love is still there, neutral. Rilke wrote a sentimental sentence in Duino’s lament: Father/after drinking a sip of my life/your life became so bitter. What father hoped was not only the connection of blood relationship, but also the inheritance of spiritual world deep in his heart, which was the soul education beyond his mother’s life philosophy. Therefore, starting from the encounter with the little life that needed to be guarded, father hid his sadness and weakness, letting his emotional illness exhaust his life little by little, and did not change his independent and strong nature. Protecting the weak is father’s instinct, and there is no word showing weakness in his dictionary. I was wondering whether it was the day to say goodbye to the world that my father could really unload the heavy burden and get some relief. Maybe, he still couldn’t. Because father is always father, how can he be tired and vicissitudes when he shoulders everything silently. However, my father will be old after all. As if yesterday, the person who lifted you over his head proudly, today, he can only climb the stairs awkwardly under your reminder. Time cut the memory into confusion, leaving no chance for father to recall. Maybe it was from that moment that my father stepped down from the altar and became ordinary and fragile. He will start to take care of your plants and the color of your clothes, as if the rough sketch has been reprocessed, adding expressions and clothes; He will start to review the letters in his youth, unfold the yellowed letter paper over and over again; He will ask all kinds of strange questions like a child, and he will love you more, because your youth continues his youth. However, we are stingy and unwilling to share and give. It was us who laughed at father’s cowardice and dullness. It was us who messed up his treasured verses. It was us who blew away his memory of later youth. At last, The Age hastened father’s aging. When we began to confess, the outline of father became clear gradually. At this time, all the abundant withered, and all the arrivals would go far away. My father became the most colorful one in his youth. He also had a lovely side under his steady maturity. Even if he did something wrong, he would cry. We woke up from the old photos, I found that I also became the father or mother of another life. Father’s smile was fixed at the most beautiful moment in each other’s life. There was no estrangement, no suspicion, no regret or sorrow. We hugged at the end of the last bus, one forward, one backward., there are always some people, in the process of almost delay, condensed into a glittering amber.

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