Duckweed

Once, I always felt that I owed something to others, which confused me for a long time. In the cold and lonely rainy night of Jinhua middle school, I stayed up for a long night and thought hard. The conclusion I got was: long before that, I had never finished a promise to myself. Moreover, this wish continues to grow and expand with the growth of knowledge and the broadening of Horizon. Therefore, on one hand, it was the desire of expanding day by day, on the other hand, I didn’t see any ability and result of growth. A pair of contradictory struggles made me uneasy. People who are unpromising will always find reasons to release themselves easily. I confessed myself with no talent and no diligence, and finally ended that wish hastily. But people always have to have some wishes to live. I came up with a new wish from my daily work, that is, to be a good teacher. With this wish, immediate results have been achieved frequently. Starting from getting the recognition of colleagues, students and parents, the excellent head teacher who has won the recognition of advanced individuals in the county education system and the county Party committee government, the forms of excellent teachers from poor areas jointly recognized by Ningxia and Fujian Education Commission pushed my pursuit and confidence of this wish to the extreme. Following this road, my wish to be a good teacher may come true. Because I saw my increasingly tall figure from the childish and sincere eyes of the students, and I saw praise and expectation from the eyes of those poor peasants who were only honest. I blame all the changes later and a series of serious consequences caused by them for writing a material for the school. In fact, this is not the root cause. The most fundamental reason is that I lack the patience to be a teacher and the persistence to my own wishes until now, I realized that, boring and long-term obscurity are such a big test for people. I have not withstood this kind of test. I want to be eye-catching, and I want to jump out of many people of the same kind who seem a little wretched and sloppy. This is the reason why I took the handwritten material and tried my best to write it enough to make people look at me with new eyes. The next road, I knew it was a road that I could never reach the end. If I walked along that road, I would even find who I was, but on the one hand, I was under intense threat, on the one hand, in order to gain a firm foothold in a new unit and gain my own living status in front of a group of new leaders and colleagues, I also have vulgar ideas showing my skills. Now think about it, this is a way to cater to people’s own bad habits, because it seems extremely smooth at the beginning. In that small school, because the headmaster made comments in front of all the teachers and students in his cadence and forceful tone, he explained a series of thoughts and views about education in a simple way, at the same time of being fully implemented by teachers and students, I became famous for a while. The headmaster became a complete theoretical viewpoint of managing the school because his own opinions were fully elaborated, played and rendered. He seemed very satisfied and appreciated me a lot. However, my colleagues’ private discussions and the Half-mixed approval when facing me once made me feel flattered. Vanity is common to everyone, but for me, it is a gentle trap. In the applause, I walked into this trap step by step and it is difficult for me to get out of it forever. I told others again and again that I was weak in fame and wealth. Maybe I really didn’t do anything for the benefit of flying head, but there is no doubt that I have been working hard for that false name for several years. Finally, I was tired of all this, because what was written into my official documents word by word was not my ideal, my thought or my opinion. It seems to be so grandiose words, even if I have a joke with my classmates in class, I have never met anyone who regards writing materials as his lifelong career. So, is this my career? I thought of turning back and returning to my starting point of being a teacher who can guide students correctly and be respected by them, or relying on my own ability of keeping writing diaries for more than ten years, the starting point of being a third-rate writer is too late. No leader is willing to let such a familiar writer of materials become a teacher; too much material thinking destroyed a few artistic cells. Since then, my language has only been analyzed by dry route, policy and policy without emotional and poetic soul exposure. The wish was crushed and stepped into the dirty soil. The false glory was a flash in the pan without any bright colors. What should my life support? The life like Walking Dead will be very simple, that is to go with the flow, that is, people follow the clouds. I will do what others do, and I will do what others say. I left the platform dejectedly, the land which had lived for 40 years and struggled for 20 years. I have nothing here. In other people’s eyes, it is a dull potato just dug out from the barren soil of Lund, he was looking at this extremely wonderful and rich world with his timid eyes. In my own eyes, the whole body is a vast and bottomless water area surging by turbid current. I don’t know where I am, where my roots are rooted and where my seedlings are heading. I once looked down upon those people who were busy for money all day long, and thought their pursuits were too vulgar. Now, I suddenly feel that I am even inferior to these people. After all, their busyness has a purpose, and my busyness even has no such vulgar purpose. In history, in books and in reality, some people are depressed because of their failure; Some people are willing to be mediocre because of their unambitious ambition; Some people are depressed and depressed because of their unwillable ambitions and go to the opposite side of their past, and they are willing to fall, life is not only a mass of flesh and blood that can eat, sleep, joy, anger, sorrow, life, old age, illness and death, but also a wish of constant, seeking tears and bleeding for it. This wish is called ideal. Without this wish, I would be as mediocre as I am, looking around at a loss, having no fixed point in my heart and wandering like duckweed. With this wish, a brand new sun will rise every day. Every breath will bring fragrance to the world, struggling until Flowers Bloom, that is a brilliant spring! Like (prose editor: Shu Kuang) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Christmas has nothing to do with festivals

I can’t remember when I started to have an impression of Christmas. That year, when the beautiful fireworks were blooming over the Christian church in the nearby village, the classmates living in that village said: Today’s Christmas Eve, Tomorrow is Christmas. That was the first time I heard the words Christmas Eve and Christmas, and the first time I saw a more decent Christian Church. Its outline was decorated with beautiful small colored lights, a big cross and three roofs with different parallel heights. At that time, I knew nothing about Christmas Eve and Christmas. Later, I knew from English books that it was a western festival, and then I just regarded it as a festival for foreigners, which had nothing to do with me. However, when the young English teacher who was particularly able to chat talked about Christmas in class, I suddenly yearned for it, in the early morning of Christmas, I can also receive the gift that Santa Claus secretly put into my socks hanging on the bedside on Christmas Eve, hoping to decorate a small Christmas tree at home with beautiful small colored lights, put a little star, then wait for the arrival of two days, run to the tree, find the box that belongs to you with exquisite packaging, no matter the things inside are expensive or cheap, it will be a special surprise, for me. This is a beautiful dream. I asked my mother: Do you know Jesus? Mother answered: Yes, it was the Christian lord who was burnt to death on the cross later. I asked again: do you know Christmas? Do you know what people do at Christmas? My mother shook her head and said, “I only know that every Sunday, those people who believe in Christianity in the village will rush to the Church of the nearby village to worship. What I knew in English class told my mother: in fact, Christmas, like Chinese Spring Festival, is a major festival in the West. We live in a small village, and our only understanding of Christianity is that every weekend, those who believe in Jesus will carry or step on a small cloth bag and go to the nearby village to worship, I only know that it is also a church that teaches people to be kind. There is a Virgin Mary and Jesus, and only these. At midnight mass, halyuya has nothing to do with us. After going to high school, I realized that Apple could be sold for more than two yuan. Those well-packaged apples were sold for two yuan and four yuan the day before Christmas. That night, when we were studying by ourselves, our hearts had already been led by the fireworks blooming outside. During the break, we shouted excitedly and rushed to the heavy sky. Then, the next day, everything was as usual. Last year, I left my hometown and came to this beautiful ancient city to start college. Finally, I know that Christmas has been celebrated as a festival in China for a long time. On Christmas night, I walked through the noisy aisle, left the teaching building filled with all kinds of excitement, and came to the quiet playground. Sitting on the cold steps, besides thinking of Li Xiaoyi who held my hand and said that he wanted to drop out of school next year on Christmas Eve in the third year of junior high school, he looked at Xi’an, a Sky without fireworks, thinking about hometown and those simple villagers. Like (prose editor: Shu Kuang) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…