Who can understand me?

Morning, silent. Under the hazy moonlight, I tried to stare at the stars and let the warm morning breeze Kiss My Face lightly. The soft music accompanied me to the night sky alone in this silent morning. Bored, turn on the computer, looking at a familiar and strange avatar on the screen, stunned in a daze, thinking about the short brilliance of my life. I haven’t written for many days. Recently, facing the screen, there was a blank space. Those square words jumping on the paper seemed to be so far away from me suddenly. When I read the countless heart words I once wrote again, I seemed to see another Self, who had gone through countless years in decadence. In a short period of more than two years, I felt a lot tired, more like I had gone through most of my life. However, who can really understand the contradictions and struggles in my heart? Suddenly, I found that the steps in these two years were stumbling, and the walk alone for many days was shuttling between the lines. In recent days, the seemingly plain life has actually made me feel more. It turns out that no matter how deep the emotion between people is, it is still very fragile. Occasionally passing by, or smiling, can pull two people together. However, unintentional actions, careless words and even doing nothing can further distance each other. I thought that if I chose to leave the internet, I could leave a wonderful memory for everyone, but I didn’t expect that since I left, I lost a netizen and a little girl like this, and I felt a lot of emotion in my heart. I never thought that the unbreakable emotion between Meier and me would bring any trouble or embarrassment to myself. When we wrote articles for each other and put the most sincere feelings in our hearts into touching words, we also aroused some people’s jealousy at the same time. Because of knowing your own sensibility, you don’t want to be a captive of the Internet, wasting time in space and chatting windows, which leads to scars, and you don’t want to hurt anyone. Therefore, I had to make up my mind to close the space, and never thought that a girl would mistake me for deleting her. She, who was kept in the dark, may have been hurt by my actions. I don’t know whether her eyes were shining with tears at that moment? One day, I received an email reply from a little girl. When I opened the email, I suddenly saw a slight bitterness filled in the lines. I complained that I treated her as an ordinary netizen and that I was indifferent and indifferent. After reading, I was speechless and filled with grievances. I could only see tears in my eyes, but I tried to bury that grievance in my heart with the toughness of seeing it calmly. In fact, no one can really understand my reluctance and contradiction. The constant rotation of the Sun and the moon never stops. No matter how I beg, the years are still moving forward indifferent. The clouds are rolling and the clouds are Shu, The Wind Rises and falls, the treetop leaves support, the Moonlight droops, and time goes by in the contradiction and struggle day and night. On Saturday, the sky was very blue, and the ruthless sunshine sprinkled the warmth of the room through the curtains. Even the cold floor at ordinary times exudes layers of heat. Bored, I sat by the window as always, letting my thoughts fly. The noisy city looks so far away from the window on the 27th floor. The road was full of traffic, and the sky was clear. Only a few clouds floated slowly, but they could not cover the suffocating heat. My heart is full of many contradictions and helplessness, and I am always entangled in my heart. Wandering on the edge of time, wasting a lot of time, I still feel confused. Looking at Ruoer’s emotional illness deteriorating day by day, his chest was always like a blocked water pipe, and he was worried. As a father, I tried many ways to stabilize my child’s mood, but I also rose and fell with her mood. Every day, every night, my wife and I spent the helpless years trembling. Rouer’s temper was just like an unpredictable volcano, hiding the unknown fuse. If he accidentally touched it, some sparks would be wiped out and burned into wounds. The eruption of the volcano made us cry at a loss, and even made our spirits close to collapse. Family ugliness should not be spread out, and we can only bear every time silently. No one can really understand the heartache that took her to the counseling center of the mental hospital for treatment every time, which is hard to say. A few days ago, I accidentally saw Xuehua’s car driving in the parking lot of the company for several times. Unexpectedly, I dared not to get off the car. I was afraid to meet her, but I was speechless. The old friends meet now, just like strangers greeting each other. The awkward atmosphere suffocated me and made me unable to adapt. Therefore, I had to choose to avoid. I was always sitting in the carriage, unwilling to face the fact that I was betrayed by friendship, and even unwilling to face my guilt for her. Looking at her back from the back mirror, I disappeared in the elevator, I dare to step out of the door. The real friendship is so false to me now. All the efforts and the past attachment have disappeared without a trace like the wind blowing away. This woman who was betrayed by her husband still lives a firm life till now. Every time I saw her, the smile on her face was still as bright as sunshine, but nobody knew the pain hidden behind every false smile. Her free and easy, more showing my cowardice, is so ridiculous. I feel sad about the lost friendship. A fallen leaf passed by with the wind, reluctantly separated from the branches and stirred up the ripples in my heart. Seeing the dead leaves fall on the green grass without control, lying still with numerous dead leaves helplessly, waiting for rebirth, thinking that people themselves are like a grain of dust in the world of mortals, it is too small to change the world even if you are born or die. The Earth is still turning and the wind and rain are still changing. When the footsteps go away quietly, the speed of time will make people forget the past in some corner of their hearts quickly and never lift up. Once there was a green leaf about to wither breaking into my life. I watered it with my heart and gave me the most sincere friendship. However, when sincere friendship turns into selfish emotion and gets into the boundary of love, this life is doomed to end with tragedy. I remember the last time I saw her, I gave her the paper crane folded by myself. No long talk, no greetings, just a plain thank you. She poked in outside the window of the car, stretched out her hand, received the gift, and hurried to the meeting. Looking at her back, she gradually moved away with tears blurred, but never really collected her back well. That night, I received the cruelest reply: “I am not so free! Your persistence really disgusted me! “I was speechless, and never shed a tear, as if the salty spring had dried up. Now, when I recall the past, I unexpectedly find that I can’t remember her back clearly. Two years ago, sitting alone in a coffee shop waiting for Rouer to finish class, his hands folded paper stars to leaves without stopping. Each piece of note was attached with my deep blessings and sincere emotions, which were carefully folded into stars overflowing with tenderness, and then put them into bottles and gave them to her. The diners around me all looked at me with strange eyes. Why is a decent man folding paper cranes in public. Who can understand me at that time, a tender feeling, but also a heartache. The night faded away gradually, and the lazy morning light seemed not to rise. On the same day, the fish belly was raised ceremoniously, and a piece of morning fog rose from nowhere. Outside the window was a piece of gray scenery, gray buildings, gray streets and gray passers-. In the dim light, what I couldn’t see clearly was that the road ahead was straight or straight, and I couldn’t see clearly whether the future days were smooth or bumpy. However, I know that even if no one can understand me, the road still has to go. A pain in your heart; An unspeakable love; A friendship that cannot be repaired. Therefore, family affection, love and friendship intertwined into an invisible net, binding me. It is said that the Northern Sutra has entered autumn. I had never walked through the four seasons, and suddenly I really wanted to fly to the north country to live for a period of time, to personally feel the bleak rope from spring to autumn, and to feel the deep romance of autumn. Who can understand that in fact, deep in my heart, I still care about every time I spend suffering with me? Who knows that there are many unspeakable grief, joy and even emotions hidden in my story? And I don’t want to understand anyone, nor do I expect anyone to understand me. But I always hope that those who once intruded into my life can understand and understand at least every decision I made 2012.08.29 Like (prose editor: dancing alone with rain) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. 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