Illness raving

I didn’t have any mental preparation and got sick. I suddenly felt dizzy, blurred vision, and even couldn’t walk stably. At the beginning, I thought it was just hypoglycemia and dizziness. Drink sugar water, try to walk, what’s the matter? If this body was not his own, he really couldn’t help it, and even dared not to go down the building. Thank God, thanks to the lack of rashness. There were too many patients in the hospital overnight! Can only lie on Lane and bed, early with major problems, such as Pro battlefield. Intuition was like a new soldier lying in the trench with nervous and inexplicable expectation and excitement in his heart. He finally got a bed and asked the patient: Why did you get a bed so quickly? Answer: I am 52 years old after leaving. Q: Where have I been? Answer: Funeral home …… oh! I couldn’t answer silently. I was born like a summer flower, and my life was so fragile. My messy thoughts filled my chaotic mind like weeds. Now that the battle has started, it is impossible to hide, who can hide? When I was in the battlefield, I only had to fight to death. I thought: at first, what I was afraid of was not to start a war, but to hold a gun and aim at which bastard? Two days passed, CT scan, blood pressure measurement. Doing ECG, nuclear magnetic resonance and so on, along the way, the enemy gradually showed his true face, which was cerebrovascular obstruction. Fortunately, the brain stem was not damaged, which did not affect the language and visual functions, and the body was conscious, serum test, the results are all within the reference value, then injection, suspension water, medication, do high pressure oxygen, day after day. The illness seemed to get better. Ten steps away, the words with big palms on the wall were refreshing. Someone can go to the lawn of the inpatient department to bask in the sun. In those days, the weather was fine and the sunshine was particularly bright and warm,. It is not strange to say that the illness is like enemy’s situation. The illness seemed to have spotted my weak body and bones, and the allied forces launched a sneak attack on me. Find hematochezia. It was another examination, and this time it was replaced by gastroscopy, enteroscope and so on. I heard that the examination was very uncomfortable. I couldn’t help thinking of Gorky’s “petyll”. I thought to myself, let the storm come more violently! It is true that I feel uncomfortable. After that, it is just the same. The result came out, just gastric ulcer, Colon ulcer. The cause of the disease has been basically figured out. Take the pill. It damages the gastrointestinal mucosa and causes local ulcer. At this time, if you are attacked from both sides, you can only attack and defend two battlefields at the same time. After all, it is not a bad battle, and the illness has been effectively controlled! When the soldiers heard the gunshots, I took a long sigh, thinking about what to sort out. Shi Tiesheng said: the experience of illness is to understand satisfaction step by step. When you have a fever, you will know how refreshing the days without a fever are. When you cough, you will realize how peaceful the throat without a cough is. The discomfort of the body can’t stop missing many happiness when the body stretches. There is a saying in the book “Golden Lotus”: life is always unsatisfactory, and you can talk with others. It is inevitable that there are many unsatisfied things in life, which are always annoying. In fact, it is not necessary to be annoyed by such things as the theft of motorcycles; Buying lottery tickets is always disappointing; Fishing is a big fish, it is helpless to take off the fishing between the repulsive and repulsive; Playing mahjong is always uncomfortable. The trivial things around me are too small. Many sufferings in life are inherent objective existence. Otherwise, Siddhartha, the ancient Indian prince, would never dislike the country but only love Bodhi. Recuperating from illness is also associated with the dialectical principle. As long as confidence is not lost, of course, the premise is that you can move, some money for self-defense and life-saving, and the pouring of family affection, the seed of happiness grows on one side of the sickbed. In the sickbed, it is the first time to experience the meaning of “Sympathy for the same illness” in one’s life. Patients take care of each other, and there are few selfish people. Patients in the same ward are older than me. And humor in Lao Hu is a retired cadre who has been ill for many years. Patients all like him and say that he is the sunshine outside the window. As long as he enters the room, there will be a full room of happiness. I remember that on the first day of hospitalization, the head nurse took his body temperature. When checking, the head nurse said softly, “Lao Hu, my body temperature has increased today ‘. Lao Hu pretended to be surprised and asked more than 100 yuan!, a room full of laughter. Lao Li, who is next to the bed, is kind and Soli. Every time I send boiled water, he will replace the water of the day before yesterday with boiled water of that day for me. Strangers are not allowed to lie in my sickbed easily, saying that they are afraid of losing things and infectious diseases, so they feel warm and warm. I am idle and bored at night, talking about the past and present, telling jokes and comforting myself. Lao Li is a teacher with a good memory. He recites some ancient poems from time to time. Jokes are still the most popular topic. Lao Li told a joke about Changshou Street, saying that before liberation, there was a time-honored shop in Changshou Street with a golden signboard called changjizhai. A guy from Jiangxi went to Changshou Street to purchase goods. Because he was illiterate, the owner wrote down a note with the words Changji Zhai and handed it to him. It would be easy to find. When I arrived at the bustling Changshou Street, I didn’t argue between the north and the South for a while. When I was in a hurry, I remembered the note in my pocket and asked someone to identify it. Unexpectedly, the person I was looking for was a Mr. chang. Jizhai “read into a long (zhuang) ancient Qi”, find the west of the Sun, where is the “long (zhuang) ancient Qi! The whole room laughed heartily, but I didn’t laugh. After explanation, I am changjizhai from Changshou Street, which was set up by my great grandfather and told jokes about my family. All the patients laughed again, but this time Lao Li didn’t laugh, saying: there is a local story in one place. Have you ever heard of a pet phrase about Changqing? I answered: “Yes,” Changqing Li Dahu, with a big belly, clear soup “Lao Li answered:” Exactly, exactly, Li Dahu is my family, talking about people starved to death by wars and chaos in the old society. My family is rich, grandfather opened the pot and cooked porridge to help the poor. After many years, it spread. “Patients were discharged from hospital one after another, and I also began to prepare to leave hospital. Patients were completely discharged from other wards within a few days, and they were buried. Our wards had made an agreement that whoever left hospital first should not say goodbye, just wave a sign, don’t be like a joke, a group of prisoners were put into prison, a prisoner was released from prison, the prison friends saw off, repeatedly Said Goodbye, goodbye! The prisoner who was released from prison cursed, and your father saw you again! When I left the hospital, I followed the appointment to Lao Li, Lao Hu and others waved their hands again and again, take care! In the theater of life, the audience still have to walk forward firmly before the whole audience stand up. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

I am still me, just become more……

I am still me. I just become more tearful. Can I dilute everything? Why are I am in this world so cowardly and at a loss? What is the soul? I am just a body! No thought, no soul, no courage, no hehe, I am nothing! What else can I do? I can’t escape from the shackles of my soul or the wind, Frost, rain and snow outside, so I have to die by myself! I am still me, but I am more depraved and silent. Can I perfunctory everything and hide unnecessary injuries? If so, I choose to live in silence. What on earth is it? I am just the passer-by who lost his soul lost by God! Life continues, but I am going backwards until I reach the bottomless abyss. Maybe it is called Liberation. I am still me, but it is just a dream that gradually disappears that becomes more depraved, the dream that gradually moved away accompanied me on this road without goals, stumbling and swaying where is the return date? Dream is something that can’t afford. Reality is an untouchable residual mirror, life. It is a rough journey that can not be counted as ending until the end. When tears fill my eyes again, is it just more cowardly? If I can escape, I wish I had never been to this gorgeous but hurtful world. Life has made me lose too much. Living has brought me a shackle that cannot be untied. I am so tired and tired. I am tired every day, not as optimistic as I imagined, nor as strong as the word in life, I am a rotten person. I am still the decayed one who lost my soul. I originally had a low IQ, but now I become more dull. I have no keen insight, no courage to hold up the sun tomorrow, the so-called success, who can explain the so-called failure clearly? I want to be relieved, but the result is that the blank reality is always filled with my soul, which makes me unable to get rid of the embarrassed me. When can I break through this dense network? Why are I always willing to fall? Why are you always escaping from the reality of self cowardice, tears, escaping from everything in life, explaining this sad me everywhere, then let the darkness erode everything in me, I want to have a dream, in a long dream, everyone in my dream can be an angel lost from heaven. What about me? If demons? Heart good pain. The pain is to the extreme. I owe too much. How can I atone for my sin? So capricious and stubborn. Why should I create such an invisible injury, I hurt the heart that has given you care for a long time. How can I make up for the scars? No one will understand the wounds in my heart. Maybe there is no need for anyone to understand the mistakes made, it makes me unable to regret. The broken life makes me suffer from troubles everywhere. Do I deserve it? I am a bad girl. A bad girl is always so unsuccessful and always so sad I am a bad girl, bad girls have no future, no future Like (prose editor: yuiran) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

That one clap of autumn rain

That one clap of autumn rain

It has been a long time since I wrote about that little autumn rain. Last night, the weather was gloomy, and a few tiny drizzle blocked my journey. The person over there said anxiously: if it is a small cloudy day, you can’t come, then don’t come again. I explained: it is not a little cloudy day, but it is going to rain! I am afraid that it will rain, and it will be inconvenient on the way! It is early autumn, and then late autumn; Then, it is winter. The gust of wind in winter will make people feel at a loss. Therefore, I will choose to visit more friends and relatives on this early autumn day. This is a very good time, the weather is neither cold nor hot, people also feel comfortable, not annoying or impatient. Moreover, in the early autumn days, visiting relatives and friends can give people a warm feeling. However, the gloomy clouds on this day, together with the gradually dim sky at dusk, made me feel that it should be raining. I am worried that it will be a night if it rains like this, which makes it inconvenient for me to travel; It will also bring me some frustration and coldness when I visit friends. So, I called and told my friend that it might rain!? But I heard the other side sigh with regret: just a small cloudy day, can’t you come? It wouldn’t rain! I suddenly silent. Wandering outside the house for a long time, looking up at the sky, it was indeed a cloud Twining, and a trace of light rain as thin as ox hair hit my face. It makes me unable to make a decision to travel. I am afraid that the rain in autumn will wet my warm heart and bring wet chill to my friends. There is an old saying: it is cloudy in the morning, sunny in the afternoon, and cloudy in the evening! Thinking of this old proverb, I am sure it will rain tonight. Therefore, I declined my friend’s enthusiasm. Although I like to visit him in such early autumn days, I don’t want to disturb our mood because of the rain. But in fact, the rain has disturbed our mood! I only heard the other side say: you, the older you are, the more confused you are. How can it rain on a small cloudy day? I have prepared wine and vegetables for you. There are fish you like to eat, wine you like to drink, tea you like to taste Yes, in fact, the rain has disturbed our mood! He was sincere, but this little rain still made me hesitant. I have been standing outside my door for a long time, whether to go or not? Finally, I called my old friend and told him: put the things in the refrigerator. It must be raining tonight! He was obviously a little unhappy, and replied: OK! I know, in fact, the rain has disturbed our mood! This night, I was sleepless. I always think about my own judgment, hoping that it will rain heavily, so that my friends can believe that it is not because I am insincere, but because it is going to rain. When it rains, my mother wants to get married, which is a kind of helplessness in life, and she can’t blame anyone. At the same time, I was also thinking that my friend must be Sleepless Tonight. He would listen to whether there was rain outside like me. He will also think that it is best not to rain, so that he can say to me: Look, I said, it will not rain! However, as the night passed, there was still only a little drizzle on that day. Moreover, it was not as heavy as what I worried about, and there was heavy rain which was not convenient for the night road; There was no friend said that it would not rain on a small cloudy day. This is the autumn rain, you said it didn’t fall, it did fall; You said it did, and it seemed not to fall. Therefore, when I woke up early in the morning, I felt ashamed of the sincerity of my friends. Looking at the still gloomy day, and then looking at the floor, there is only a bit of rain wet in the deeper place! This is autumn, this is autumn rain! Some are unpredictable. A little wind, a little rain, a little cool. Also, a little touching guilt! So early in the morning, I called my friend. I said: Sorry! Really no rain! The words all mean self-mockery. And said: Tonight, I will definitely go. Whether it rains or not! My friend said at the other end: it really rained a little, you are right! My friend also continued to say, no matter whether it rains or not, I must come! Be there or be square Oh! Be there or not, definitely! As I said, I still felt a little self-mockery in my heart! This is the feeling of autumn rain, there is always some ambiguity! But tonight, I am must go! Like (prose editor: dancing alone with rain) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…