Later, we should sing decades ago

I just can’t find myself. I hate this kind of life. Every day of tired. The word “busy” can no longer hide a little loneliness, and the atmosphere of the festival is getting stronger and stronger. I am like a patient, and there will be too many abnormal behaviors. I hate the weakness of crying every day. I hate staring at my cellphone in a daze. I want to live my previous life without thinking too much. Even if I am heartless, I can still be happy. The comfort I wanted didn’t come for a long time. Even if I could get more comfort, there were still many people treating me as a child. I have grown up and will understand what I want. So, two words of regret surged. The tears that were too late to stop broke the bank, and I was still weak. Diary also just left: XX year XX month XX day, weather XX, mood xx. I will miss my mother who loves me and will hug me when it thunders. No matter where it is, as long as there is a mother. Sometimes, I think of the scene of going home. Is it a happy cry or a slight smile? When waking up in the midnight, the soul is always fragile. Therefore, I will think of the feeling that my mother held it when it was thundering. It is becoming more and more uncomfortable to adapt to the suitable life. Walk Alone, eat alone, and go home alone. I have to accept it slowly. I want to find someone to tell me calmly. Without any emotions, it is like telling a good wish. After picking up the phone, some people still dare not dial it, and the peaceful life should not have ripples any more. I started to get a lot of small things, and became busy, and I couldn’t find myself. The sense of belonging I had been looking for, in fact, many people could give it to me. But when I am depressed, no one can hug me lightly. I miss my mother again. Only by her side can I feel that I am also a pearl. Many people said that they would accompany me to Tibet. After leaving the place, they just stayed in strange land, and some people would take dozens of hours of train to see me. I still like to be scolded, and I like pure beauty. But I still lost myself. I began to miss my “Wanderer”, and I would envy those hikers and like to watch those homeless people lying on the wooden chairs in the park. Start to read Sanmao’s words. I know that one day, I will also be a vagrant, walk into the crowd, enter the noisy city, or plant a field of my own. In fact, my dream is very simple. It doesn’t matter if I go wandering with my soul and don’t need someone to accompany me. The Heaven and Earth will accept me in a thick and solid way. I admit that I don’t have any pursuits, and I can only be stunned when I open my eyes every day. Or think of what someone said to me, and then calm no longer. After too many cities, you can still worship in a turbulent way. The color of the clothes became no longer monotonous. I still liked to listen to Wang Sulong’s song, humming the song “Can’t Put It Down”, but I just couldn’t laugh. I just wanted to continue my previous life. Whether it’s heartless or crazy. The life I want is very simple, but now it is too plain, which will make me forget my existence. What is lost and what is remembered cannot be distinguished. What I want may be there all the time, but I can’t see it. I am becoming quiet and cynical. But he is no longer a cynic. I am not complaining about anything, nor am I sad about anything. Promised, I will live a good life. I just want to talk about those small pursuits and dreams. I just want to be a freelance, so that I can accompany my mother to die. I just want to sing diamonds and rust. You are diamonds, I am rust. No matter how long it will be, or I am old, white, and ambiguous when singing, I will still remember that it was decades ago. I will think that after a long time, we will become neighbors, or kick the door of your house without any image, open your wardrobe, and eat on chairs. I will follow you to call my mother aunt. Or, we sleep in the same bed and tell some of our secrets. We can also put KongMing lanterns together, saying that we want to live a happy life together, or we can ride bicycles to travel together. So, what I want to say is that I am fine. It’s really good. Although I sometimes feel confused, I still remember the direction. So, I want to say: the current time: 2011-12-24 the city where I am now: the current weather in Xi’an: what Qing is doing: write something where you want to go most: where you are, what you want to receive most: a ticket to go home now the most annoying thing: after all kinds of festivals related to eggs, what I want to say most is: PLEASE BE BRAVE! My life now is very peaceful. I will miss home in the midnight and cry. I don’t want to celebrate the festival because you are not around. Besides, my favorite mother is going to have her birthday, so I can’t accompany her. I want to say that I miss you very much. I have changed a lot, and I am no longer crazy as before. In fact, it’s not that I don’t like to be crazy, but that I don’t have people who are crazy with me. But there will still be someone naming me as a housewife, the same as before. I am still the evil of you before, and I am also the vicious stepmother. I just don’t write novels. I just want to eat stinky tofu from my hometown. I will learn diamonds and rust, and I will sing many years ago in the future——. Like (prose editor: prose online) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. 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