We all need to be conscious of being the leading role.

Recently, I wrote novels without any clue. I have accumulated a lot of stories and plots in my mind, but I don’t know where to start. I couldn’t find the crux of the problem all the time, and my mood fell into depression. In addition to watching cartoons or watching movies every day, I don’t know whether it is really like looking for inspiration that I have been claiming, or killing time, or just a kind of escape. I have watched a lot of cartoons. I have watched the classic and non-classic ones recommended by anime fans, and I am never tired of it; I have watched many movies, one after another, and after watching this one, there is another movie, but I can’t remember what the last movie actually said. I have watched a lot. I have watched for a long time. I don’t know whether my eyes are blinded or my brain is lack of oxygen. There is always a feeling like a dream or a dream. Looking at everything familiar around me, I feel like a lifetime. This feeling scares me! It scares me! The more scared I am, the more afraid I am to face it. The more afraid I am to face it, the more eager I want to watch more cartoons and movies to escape and paralyze me! Let yourself live in a situation similar to ethereal. When looking back and forth for a movie that I thought was worth watching, I had seen the name of such a movie as “the beauty of law” for several times. To be honest, the score is not very high, I have no feeling, I have never seen it. I saw it today. The reason for watching it is very simple. I have almost watched many English movies that have been searched and recommended. Because of the need to improve the english level, I almost only watch American youth campus films and comedies. I will not make comments on how this film is. The speed of speaking is also faster, and I can’t hear clearly, which is not helpful to my English listening and speaking. In the whole film, I almost felt the most about one of the pictures, that is: when the protagonist ai er appeared among a large number of members of parliament wearing black suits in an eye-catching pink dress, the shock in my heart. There is no doubt that AI er is beautiful. The dazzling blonde hair, the figure of mioman and the fashionable dress all show the charm of women. She wore gorgeous clothes which were different from ordinary people, stepped on the catwalk, and walked confidently in a group of people who looked at her in surprise and watched her. That kind of confidence, that kind of calm, is the most intoxicating thing for me! At any time, the charm that takes oneself as the leading role, contacts and shows actively is the most touching! AI er’s beauty comes from the love for life and beauty itself! AI er loves all the beautiful things! Because of the love in her heart and the pursuit of beauty, her body exudes the brilliance that people like from the bottom of their hearts. Her pursuit of beauty is not blind or vanity, but cherished as a beauty enjoyment and owner! And I hope this beauty can be extended to everyone. I’m ashamed! My clothes, like what my mother said, are either white or black, which have the least sense of presence. There is almost no colorful dress. I always choose simple clothes, and try not to highlight the colors and styles. When I pick a notebook or a writing pen, I will subconsciously avoid the flaunting color. I don’t know if this is a performance without confidence. I don’t like being noticed since I was young. I don’t like living in others’ gossips. I don’t like always being the handle of others’ words. When I associate with people and participate in group activities, I always don’t show up. The kind of people who don’t resist can’t blend in that atmosphere and enjoy the happiness they should have. I am like an outsider, looking at all this coldly, watching the happy smiles of my companions, listening to the hearty voices of my companions, I tried to keep a bright smile suitable for the time, but my heart was quiet, calm, I didn’t feel really happy at all. I didn’t regard myself as a member of this activity. I didn’t regard myself as one of the leading roles. I just put myself in the position of a spectator, I alienated myself. When writing novels, there are often many plots and ideas that I think are very good, but they are often stuck. Moreover, I have conceived them many times, it feels very good on the plot. I couldn’t figure out why it was! Now, I can’t say that I have fully understood why this is, but I know one of the most important reasons must be: I didn’t regard myself as the leading role, I didn’t blend in my own feelings, didn’t really and completely put myself into the consciousness as a leading role, and didn’t really express my love, I always want to watch everything from the perspective of a disk viewer. The emotion and heart of the protagonist in the novel can not be expressed completely, as if there is no soul and no consciousness of being the protagonist, even I can’t move myself. Style. My life is also such a bastard. He tried hard to treat himself as an invisible person without showing off and converging his light. He was polite to everyone, but he didn’t allow anyone to step over that cold defense line. As long as I do not participate, as long as I still face it with the calm of an outsider, I will not be hurt and I will not take any responsibility. However, similarly, as a price, my life for more than twenty years is as plain as water without any ripples, just like I have never existed in the past twenty years. I became a real invisible man as I wished. When I was in junior high school, because I didn’t compete for the ranking and didn’t care about my grades, no one regarded me as a competitor. I asked them if I didn’t understand in my study, and they explained to me absolutely patiently. In high school, because I didn’t care about having to go to a prestigious university, my teacher also had very low requirements on me, so I got enough free time to read my favorite books. When I was in college, I didn’t like scholarship, but only wanted to pass long live. Therefore, my classmates were willing to share the exam materials with me. I didn’t threaten anyone’s competition. I really enjoy this kind of peace, no one is hostile to me, no one is looking for me. However, when I found that my junior high school classmates met each other, I couldn’t remember who they were. My senior high school classmates met each other, but they were strangers. My college classmates, except for the necessary contact with the three people in the dormitory, there is no other connection. I feel like I am alone in this world, down to earth, looking up to the sky, standing alone and hanging in the shadow, at such a moment, I felt panic and my mind was on the verge of collapse! And this kind of situation appeared more than once or twice. The world in the novel is the world that the author wants to show. It doesn’t matter if the protagonist has no soul or consciousness. Everything is just for entertaining readers. However, real life is not like this. The real world is not created for someone. The real world belongs to all human beings. Everyone, no matter whether he or she has beauty, high IQ, a good life experience or a good character, he or she is his or her the protagonist in his or her life doesn’t care whether he or she is willing or not. Only if you regard yourself as the leading role, all actions are from the heart, and you can show your charm from the heart, instead of escaping and hiding your light. I believe, this kind of life will be really beautiful! I don’t know how to change my life. I just plan to try orange skirts or red shoes from tomorrow. Maybe it will match my white skin color very well; or, I can buy a doll head writing pen of kawaii which I have always appreciated but tried my best to ignore; Besides, there should be some slight changes in the plain diary to make life show what it should have been! Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Those songs that have washed my soul

In the evening, when listening to the radio, I heard an old song “single Love Song” which was once very popular. Maybe it is because November 11th is coming, so it is specially played. I have not listened to this song for many years. More than ten years ago, this song was quite popular. At that time, it was broadcast in streets, lanes, campuses and shopping malls. As if in that year, all people were eager to find their favorite loved ones and loved ones to say goodbye to being single. In those years, our class practiced in other places and lived in the garage of a local village hotel. The life was full and busy. Every morning and evening, this sad and passionate song was played out by the shabby stereo which had been used for three years. Break the tranquility of that small village, and also break the ignorant hearts of some boys and girls. During the whole internship period, except for the memory of those students, there was only the song that boys sang together while playing in the stereo. I went back to school and graduated soon. Everyone went their own ways. Some people became families soon. Everyone laughed, was it because I listened to that song too much at that time and listened for a long time that I was so eager to find someone to end my single life. Another song came to mind again, which was “the first sad man” by Dick Cowboy. At that time, his “how much love can come again” still remained warm. On a winter Sunday, the fog was very strong, and the sun did not come out for a long time. Several of our friends were in a small fire box in a room at a colleague’s home. My colleagues don’t agree because they want to give up their jobs and go to a wider world outside, and because they are opposed by the whole family to fall in love with a man whom everyone dislikes, they don’t know how to make a choice, mood is very bad. We all accompanied her in a stuffy manner. There is a very old recorder on her desk near the window, with Dicker cowboy tapes. She likes this song and love innocence best. At the beginning, we were all very silent. Later, she began to sing softly, and gradually her voice became louder and louder. We also let out the singing voice like ghosts crying and howling to sing with her. Her parents saw that she was in a bad mood during this period of time, so they didn’t say anything about us and went out by themselves. Once we sang all over again and again until our voice became hoarse, it was estimated that the neighbors also escaped. Our singing and tears vent together until we are exhausted. Then we cooked a pot of porridge together. After it was opened, everyone rushed to stir with a spoon, and colleagues also joined in, stirring a pot of porridge into rice mud that could be eaten for babies. In this way, I felt relaxed and my colleagues talked and laughed with us again. Later, I went out to travel and had a happy family with that boyfriend. Sometimes when chatting about the old days, she would mention that singing and stirring up love. I still remember the popular song “heart is too soft”, which is popular and my mother also likes. One mouth is that you are always too soft, too soft, crying alone until dawn. Overnight, everyone became too soft-hearted. The singer is like crying and complaining, while the listener is like infatuated. Mom said that this song expressed her heart. She was really a person who was too soft-hearted. Until today, she still likes this song very much, and I also accompany her to listen to it over and over again. Maybe this song softened my heart. Sometimes, I wonder if I have listened to this song for too long and too much, so that I have become a soft-hearted person. Tracing back to the past, what impressed me most was that when I was in primary school, there was a recorder in a teacher’s home, and “New Mandarin duck Butterfly Dream” was played every noon. Even our primary school students can’t understand what they sing and will hum a few words. Then, everyone prepared a beautiful notebook for copying songs. They also put on colorful star stickers, wrote some playful words, painted some lovely cartoon pictures, passed and copied each other, and everyone took that song book as a treasure. Who has a beautiful song book, who has a novel star sticker, who has copied more songs and can sing more songs, she naturally becomes a star in the class. I remember this is the first song I copied in my song book. Nowadays, many years have passed, because I don’t love music, and I cannot sing a complete song because of my incomplete voice. Songs are really changing with each passing day. The songs promoted by various platforms are of different styles and varied. But no song can take so long time in my heart and leave so many memories like these songs. It seems that I am OUT of what the students said. Like (prose editor: dancing alone with rain) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Fleeting, passage.

Staring at the computer screen, I really couldn’t think of any flowery words to whitewash my words. I just regard words as a tool for self-adjustment, self-cognition, self-improvement and self-vent. There are too many beautiful things, but I gradually fell in love with the words, mixing my feelings into the lines, and even my sadness became so beautiful. Strolling on the remaining pure land in my heart, I felt the real me. I am very ordinary. When I was young, I was really a good boy, but when you met me, I grew up …… when I was in school, male classmates seemed to like the quietest one or those girls in the class, so in my school days, I really haven’t had a puppy love before. Gradually, I bid farewell to the gate of the campus and Goodbye to Innocence and childishness. In the society, how many people can completely retain their own colors? Full flashy. Should I thank the campus for bringing us beauty? Or should we scold the reality and filth of society? Don’t worry, ladies and gentlemen, you still have to endure love. Although it is not certain, it is indeed the most painful place for most people. Everyone once described the image of a lover in his heart. Then tell yourself to look like that. Therefore, there are a lot of so-called standards for choosing friends. I don’t like ta’s dressing style. His manners are too frivolous. ta is not romantic enough. I don’t like ta who wears glasses. He has no car, no house, no money and so on. This is generally the common reason why girls refuse boys. On the other hand, let’s talk about men. Most of them seem to never refuse a woman’s giving arms and giving arms. I am talking about the majority, not all of them. If this man has 10,000 women, he also hopes that he is the only man for this 10,000 women. When these realistic things are obviously in front of people’s eyes, will you continue to stick to them without improvement and flexibility according to your rules and regulations? Those so-called standards of choosing friends are really useless. Throw them into garbage bags and pack them away immediately. When you meet a person who will spark when the four eyes are handed over, even if he has no car, no house, no money, no gentleman, can you still tell others rationally, I really don’t like him? Don’t deceive yourself. When you really meet someone you feel right, no matter what he is, in your eyes, he is as dazzling as starlight. It seems that what you see is always his good. Love, without preparation, happened naturally in spring. The blending of electric light and Flint is just an instant thing, and then it is out of control. If there is premeditation, selfishness and planning, it is really not love. Never commercialize your love, because you cannot predict when you will go bankrupt. There are also some girls who are going to die if they lose love, why. In fact, there are many people we can fall in love with in our life. As long as the other party reaches out to you, you will give the other party a chance. There will be possibilities to develop love. There are countless good people in the world. Why do you want to die for a bad person who dumped you and others? Shorter, one month. Longer, seven or eight years. During this period, how many love stories happened? Every day there were parting and reunion, breaking up and falling in love. When you were not married, you didn’t know your parents for a long time. Your parents gave birth to you and raised you for more than 20 years, then you are heartbroken and disheartened for a man you have known for only a few months or two or three years? Don’t be stupid, girl. In fact, the world is really beautiful. Without love and friendship, family affection will always be the harbor where your solid arms and soul dock. Maybe I didn’t encounter the vigorous love, and I couldn’t feel the pain that I couldn’t be together and tore my heart into my lungs. I still think it’s plain and plain, and the feeling of long flowing water is more dependable and reliable. Enjoy the single life now. After working for a day, Cook yourself a sumptuous meal. When I was free, I made a cup of tea, read books in the lazy sunshine in the afternoon, and filled my inner vacancy with books. This kind of life is really good. Now I don’t expect that there will be a period of endless romance happening to me. I pursue simple, sincere and natural things. Wave goodbye to that silly man, and live by yourself. What I am looking for in the future is not a boyfriend but a marriage partner. I don’t care how hard and long the process of searching for each other is. I even imagined the prototype of my single life in the next ten years. In fact, nothing matters. Life is a lifetime, grass and trees are in autumn. I hope my parents can be safe and healthy. I don’t have much expectation and desire for myself. I just want to live a good life every sunrise and sunset now, and I will try my best to be busy when I am busy. When having a rest, I would knock the keyboard and nag at the screen, giving my heart a good medicine to cure my melancholy. If there is a chance, I will go out to travel. What I want is not travel, but travel! Fleeting, passage. Pull off the wings of the night to make a quilt. May everything be fine in the dream. Like (prose editor: Shu Kuang) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…