The pain left in the station

How many times, wandering in the station, can’t find the way to come, the next stop, is it eternal? It has been almost one year since I came to Beijing. I still remember that last year I came to Beijing specially to relax when I was in the College Entrance Examination. I felt a different breath and the heartbeat of the metropolis, the rhythm is full of contemporary time and years without any gaps. There was no intersection between my life and this modern big city at first. What reason could I ask to let me come to Beijing? Maybe because my father stayed in Beijing for nearly ten years, what could he do in ten years? Familiar with a city? Enough, so I came! But in the end, I didn’t expect that I could come to Beijing and had an incomprehensible fate with Beijing. It turned out that I came to Beijing not only for relaxation, but also for a fate that was hard to forget, I will finally go back to Beijing. No matter whether I like it or not, that road will continue and move forward. However, in the end, I don’t know whether I fell in love with Beijing or Beijing pestered me? If we say that the biggest impression of Beijing is just the bit by bit in the memory, then the indelible mark is still branded in the end. Maybe life sometimes needs to use marks to show what has happened, until the end, it is so profound… On the first day, I went out of the platform of Beijing West Railway Station, carrying two tourist bags, and left the railway station with my father seven or eight turns. Under the scorching sun, I leaned against the bus license plate several feet square, the fatigue of the journey was in a daze in front of my eyes. When I closed my eyes, I seemed to go back to the senior three time when I fought day and night, which was indelible in my whole life… There are dense small characters on the bus sign, and large characters written in red on the top, which are particularly conspicuous and prominent. The lonely license plate Post is covered with small advertisements, which are tightly wrapped! Later, a tall yellow bus took us back. The bus master dressed up very fashionable. Maybe this is the new human beings! A pair of black sunglasses makes me look cool! The way he drove was also very exaggerated. It seemed that he was going to turn himself out when he turned a corner. Anyway, how much inertia he turned in the end, how powerful he was, from time to time, I also looked back at the passengers in the car, showing white teeth, showing enthusiasm and vivacity! In the hot summer, I was still very helpless. The smell of gasoline and human sweat in the car made me feel sick… However, I didn’t make a joke because of my persistence and swallowing the saliva over and over again. After all, in a big city, how shameful it would be to be seen as Carsick by others, for the sake of face, I had to hold back, even if I swallowed all the saliva. Later, it really proved that what I thought was right! Face was saved after all, but the taste of suffering seemed to disappear forever in memory… Bus seems to be my weakness. In the hot summer, I have endured enough! Almost every day, I had to walk a long way, at least when I first came to Beijing, I was always confused by those stations! At first, because I didn’t know how to take the bus in the city and my Mandarin was not so fluent, I was always afraid that if I accidentally took the wrong bus or took the wrong bus number, he got off the wrong station by himself, a stranger who was unfamiliar with his life, then what should he do? Every time I take a bus, it seems that I have to make up my mind, especially careful, without any carelessness! On the second day I came to Beijing, my father took me to the bus card recharge point and set up a bus card for me in Beijing with the words “one card” written on it. I even didn’t understand why it was called one card, is it possible to take a bus casually with only one card? At that time, there was no concept of transportation. I only knew that I had to buy a ticket immediately after taking the bus, and then someone would remind me to get off when I arrived at the station, it’s that simple! Besides knowing little about cards, there is another thing I am know that bus cards are much cheaper than buying tickets. My father once told me that a ticket is 60 cents more expensive than a bus card. As a person in the countryside, he is used to calculating carefully in order to survive better! I was just wondering why there was such a regulation. At that time, apart from being strange, I didn’t have much energy to probe into its deep-seated reasons. Maybe it is because I have been afraid of big cities since I was young! In Beijing, I always like to run around alone, because in my opinion at the beginning, the distance between that station was too close! But later I found that I was stupid… That distance is not coming out at all… From not being able to take a car to taking a car by myself, what I have experienced on Earth is mostly forgotten. What is fresh in my memory is those tortured images, enduring the pain caused by carsickness. Every time, after taking the bus for several stops, the disgusting feeling that came to my heart seemed to be unable to figure out the time when the car broke out. I always suffered a few stops before I finished the journey… The journey, maybe sometimes, is just that I have been persevering and enduring all the time. I have used all the perseverance I need. Every time, they all hope to end the suffering of riding through the transfer of memory! Thinking about the happy scenes before, sometimes I would laugh secretly. However, those methods were just like viruses, and antibodies came into being for a long time! A method may have its timeliness! But can’t I really change anything? I don’t know… I still remember that at that time, because I was afraid of taking a bus, I would not go to the bus easily even if I was tired and sweating alone… This is the necessary price to reduce hardship! Even if you are tired, you won’t stop, because the next stop is ahead! It’s gone after biting my teeth… In order to get rid of carsickness, I almost exhausted all the methods, many of which were ineffective. I was tired after trying, and then I simply resigned. Since some things have become a foregone conclusion, also resign yourself! Tomorrow is still sunny… Therefore, I secretly put a bag in my schoolbag before every ride in the future. Now, I can’t hide it from the world. What if others see it, just smile, if you can’t stand this ridicule, then how can you walk out of the house and face the world? My husband is aiming at all directions, and I can’t die because of a little setback… However, what makes me strange is that even if I take out the bag, it will not attract much attention. It seems that everyone has their own business and it is too late to take care of others’ business, this result really surprised me. However, I also understood that I was not someone. In this metropolis, everyone had his own heartbeat and breath, all have their own days… It was not until then that I realized how naive I was… It turns out that I have been living in my own world… Endless, dream woven by myself… I always think that living in my own world, living in my heart, is it happiness or my life stranger? Since that incident, I am not afraid of being laughed at by others as always, perhaps because I am in a different place! Who would care about those things that were once on buses in rural areas? Or you have already been used to crawling and rolling in the countryside… I also have a certain understanding of those passers-by in the city. Maybe there is no harmony in the countryside. People are too tired, and everyone is very tired, so those so-called ravines have unconsciously divided everyone… Maybe, in the end, I will be the same as them! The same is like a stranger, and the sacrifice needed to integrate into this city is helpless… Every time, put it in front of the car window, looking at this colorful city, the neon lights are jumping a little prosperous! Life is a reincarnation. After one stop after another, only the corners of the city are left behind. For those high-rise buildings that have passed away, the rain and rain will finally float and sink, leaving no trace… I have also thought about myself whether I am used to being natural and unrestrained in the countryside. In the life of big cities, I seem to have some hands at a loss? The station is still continuing. At that moment, it is reincarnation! A person’s world, facing the reality, a world inside the car, a world outside the car, when the announcer said that the next stop had arrived, what was I doing? I am still thinking about those trivial things in the past, and the loneliness with time… Later, I learned to get into the subway alone. In the underground world, there is no brilliance in the city, leaving only the endless night. Maybe the night is the most beautiful in this lonely metropolis! At least, there are no high-rise buildings in the subway, and the prosperity of life! Sometimes, I will think whether life is just traffic one after another. When the red light is used, I will stop, when the crossroad is used, I will think, when I surpass it, I will accelerate, and I can’t do without the constraints of one stop after another, even if you are willing to bury it… Also can’t escape the reincarnation between stations! In fact, for me, Beijing may be the traffic that will never end. In the traffic, we are thinking about our own worries, and we are locked by each other. Every time, when I go home from school, I will observe the people around me, different people, different levels of riding, when giving up my seat becomes a custom, when respecting the old and loving the young evolves into the everlasting truth… I will smile happily. Even if I am not sitting here, I still have some feelings in my heart. This city really makes people too tired… However, there will always be a blooming spring in the corner of society. When Loving People scatter great and selfless love… That corner is the pure land of the world! Usually, if I go out, I will take the bus at that station with my father, looking at the outside world, the traffic in Beijing, everything in Beijing, and those high-rise buildings outside… For the sake of common things… When the subway passes by, the cold loneliness will also reveal unconsciously… How far is one stop? At least even if I was sweating, I wouldn’t catch up with the missed stop. Next stop, would I forget the pain on those cars? I spent most of my time waiting for the bus that should come, watching the corners of the city falling down. It turned out that I had never left… That stop… The pain of reincarnation continues, Beijing, the forgotten corner! Like (prose editor: Ke Er) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Hurry

Temporarily, I decided to go home for the holidays. In a hurry, I only brought a few pieces to change clothes. When it was just dawn in the morning, my husband and I set foot on the highway to Shandong. After several days of autumn rain, the weather was cold. Maybe it was early and there were very few vehicles on the road. My husband drove the car very fast. Occasionally, a little drizzle fell on the glass in front of the car and was quickly scraped to one side by the wiper, then it slips to the ground unwillingly. The mood also surged with the rain, sometimes excited for going home, sometimes worried about the journey. The car was so fast that we didn’t care about overspeed. Fine was a matter of the future. Today’s goal was to hurry up and enter the Hebei area. When the rain stopped and we saw the sun, we felt much brighter. Turn on the music, classic old songs are fluttering with rhythm all the way. Because of the eagerness to return, I didn’t feel that the long-distance journey of Lawton arrived home. Far away, my mother-in-law stood at the mouth of hutong. Dressed up to welcome us, she was very excited when she learned that we were going home for the festival, so she talked to everyone. Neighbors accompanied her and stood together to welcome us. She got off the bus and saw her grandson didn’t come back, A little bit of loss, hearing the laughter and laughter of our mutual blessing and greetings, made her unhappy in a flash, holding his son’s hand, looking at his daughter-in-law’s face, laughing and laughing, the third grandma, the neighbor with white hair, also came after hearing the news and said jokingly, “this wife is more watery than a few years ago, and the air outside is better. The water and soil in our North depression cannot support others! It made people all over the hutong laugh. It was not easy to go home. Every old man had to walk around. Without saying a few words, he hurried to his father’s place. As soon as he entered the factory door, his old figure came into view, he also saw my car the first time, wondering: Didn’t you say you won’t come back this year? I explained that there was something wrong with going home, so I took my father’s hand and sat beside him. My father took a teapot and poured water for me, happily looking like a child, the radio around me played that I couldn’t understand Beijing opera, so I turned it off for him to concentrate on his daily life. My father was inarticulate and looked a little serious because he had been a village cadre for many years. He was a little afraid of him when he was young, he stayed at a respectful distance from him. Now he has grown up. Looking at the old man with white hair in front of him, he is not as wise as that year, nor as wise as that year. He just smiled and looked at her daughter, delighted, appreciating, tears oozed from the corners of my eyes, and suddenly I felt that I had never been unfamiliar with my old father. The person who gave me life in front of me grew old in front of the years. What I could do, it is to hold every minute of his life tightly, to give him care, to give him warmth, and to let him enjoy the world. Another purpose of this trip was to hand over the keys to the house bought in the city. Because the householder had to sign, he had no choice but to say goodbye to the old man in a hurry. He rushed to the city that afternoon. After the handover, the dinner time arrived, we met with brothers and sisters-in-law who came from all directions in a hurry and had a rare reunion Mid-Autumn Festival. The dining table was full of rich wine and vegetables. The family met again after a long separation. They had no time to eat and said warm words, it resounded through the room all the time. The waitress was envious of us when she saw us happy. To be honest, we were proud of ourselves. Our brothers were scattered all over the world. It was not easy to get together once,, we will still eliminate all kinds of difficulties and get together timely to let the children know that there are relatives of their blood in distant places. The schedule is tight. The whole day, the size of the House, floor, wallpaper, decoration team, kitchen supplies, toilet supplies, sofa TV in the living room, etc. are all determined one by one, A meaningful Mid-Autumn Festival, in the drizzle, accompanied by family members, finished happily and fully, hurriedly, and set foot on the journey back to Shanxi. Crossing viaducts, passing long tunnels, driving on the road, coming and going in a hurry, taking running and running as a kind of happiness, happiness is everywhere! Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Winter jasmine

I haven’t seen the winter jasmine carefully for two years. The tender yellow swung in the breeze, and the branches stretched neither too high nor too long. However, it is this piece of distinctive yellow meaning that still has enough strength to show in the chilly spring breeze. Unfortunately, I haven’t looked at it carefully for a long time. Because it has already been uprooted by people. I remember more than ten years ago, I felt depressed after giving birth to my lovely daughter. The busyness of work and the trifles of family unexpectedly made me confused. That year, the winter was not over, and the spring was quiet. When I came home from work, my gloomy mood always felt like a spreading spider web moving forward infinitely. My heart was chaotic, heavy and heavy. If I say why I am depressed, I can’t say anything about it. However, infinite sadness always rises in my heart inadvertently. Walking along the roadside, suddenly my eyes lit up. Several bright yellow petals are swaying in the wind. It seems that their foundation is not very solid. When the wind blows gently, they swing softly with the wind, swaying left and right. Accidentally, the head of one branch hit the other. Then, they all nodded, as if they were greeting each other. For a moment, my heart quivered. I couldn’t help laughing. What a playful flower! Can you see the loneliness in my heart and deliberately point out my dying heart here? At this time, the long branches of winter jasmine were deliberately placed, which seemed to approve my idea. Lovely flower, is your dance for me to remember you? At that time, did you already know that you would be removed and left? However, how can I forget you? You are a flower, destined that beauty will accompany you. Although, the definition of beauty is different. Elegant is beautiful, and elegant fragrance is also beautiful. And your blooming beauty is still the chief among many beauties. Without you, people can’t tell how long the long winter is, how long the heavy fatigue will last, and how the cold will bear. In short, the road ahead is long, and people cannot see the light. However, who could imagine that you, a weak little yellow flower, were waiting for people at the crossroads. You are blooming golden smiling face, twisting light waist, and pieces of flowers encourage each other to bloom bright smiling face. With a smile, winter wind left reluctantly. The hard ice water also melted and flowed away freely. Even today’s bleak sunshine was put into the fiery red color, and it became hot gradually. You have seen all this. You laughed. After laughing, your sisters came one after another. Peach blossom, Apricot Flower and pear flower all bloom their smiling faces. People naturally turn their eyes from you to the fragrance of flowers and flowers. However, you are tired. Pieces of petals withered and then left quietly. No one will miss you any more except me. I thought we would meet again every early spring. However, I don’t know which leader you offended, or your shallow yellow flower can’t touch people. Two years ago, when you welcomed the spring, you were uprooted and sent away. Since then, the colorful flowers in spring and summer are still the same as before, while the land you stand on is replaced by the evergreen green pine and cypress. Another winter came to spring, and I wandered along the roadside. Although there were patches of green in front of my eyes, I didn’t know where I was when I loved you. I couldn’t help thinking of you again. Because ten years ago, the motivation for me to move forward was in that early spring, in that bright and yellow place. Dear flower, I understand that you didn’t leave, because you have already blossomed in my heart, forever, forever. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…