Affection and memories

The screen of the mobile phone lights up again, the three-digit family number flashes in the center of the screen, and the mother on the other end of the phone is concerned and attentive. Family affection is the same as this number, simple, remember it by heart. Since I came home, my mother had been persuading me to change my mobile phone number. She said, “Call your provincial number to ask for money, and you can also ask for money if you allocate it to others. You can use the local number to enter the family network, and it is convenient for me to call you. I thought about using two numbers, and there was a broken mobile phone at home, but because I didn’t have money to raise two numbers, I gave up. I don’t know this, and that number is already overdue, but it is still within the credit limit. Every time my mother said it, I just perfunctory and tried every means to avoid this topic. Mother shook her head and walked away, with a little disappointment in her eyes, and soon recovered to nature. At that moment, my heart was pricked by a needle, and the pain aroused my guilt of ignoring family affection, but I still couldn’t resist that persistence. However, I was also confused, how long will I stick to it. Later, my mother compromised and asked me to keep the old number and open a new one. I didn’t want to increase my monthly expenses, so I said that I would change my number next month. My mother’s eyes were full of expectation. Her old face and eyes were bright, as if the number of the new card was floating in the air, which would be found after a piece of work. Perhaps, only maternal love can compromise with women again and again. I picked up the phone and flipped it aimlessly. That old card was the only visible and tangible souvenir left to me by that place. I opened the card holder and arranged the neat and intimate titles. I don’t know if I was just written down that boring full name in someone else’s mobile phone? Or do some people even remember my full name wrongly? These days, mass text messages came in every day to advertise my new number, and then I saved it truthfully. I really hope that I am the last one to change my number. Maybe I was waiting. I wanted to know if anyone would suddenly think of me after a long time of news. However, things often go against my wishes. I have already been used to this kind of slight sense of loss. Perhaps, it was because my four years had been too poor for fame and wealth that I had been completely ignored. I thought that if I didn’t fight or win, and didn’t have any conflicts of interest with anyone, I would have a good friend. I don’t have many friends, but in fact, I really hope that many people can go out with me. I always don’t care about awards, money and love. Maybe what I call indifference to fame and wealth is just what others care about, and I just don’t care about it. However, the fact proved my naivety again. If you don’t fight for it, you will become a passive living by accident. If your parents are far away from home, there is no way to worry about it. It seems like what is sung in “childhood”: it is always until the exam that I know that I have not read the book I should read. Although it was lucky to cram for several times, it was certainly not good-looking in the ranking. I accidentally heard that the top six classmates mentioned me, saying that I was like a child and stupid. A child’s heart is the easiest to get hurt, but it is also the fastest to heal. Adults like a child are also easy to get hurt, but the difference is that the wound is difficult to heal. In all, it is also a happy thing to be completely like a child. If you are afraid, you are afraid of being incomplete, because it is more painful than being completely different. No wonder it is always written in martial arts novels that it is more dangerous to solve half of the poison than to understand. Stupid, indeed stupid, I ignored that there is also a kind of interpersonal relationship based on interests. Every time I make comments at the beginning of school, a group of people squeeze their heads and pull relationships everywhere. Is it because I see fame and wealth too thoroughly? I actually thought that was ridiculous. It was just passing by. It was good to get it, but that was all right. It feels like they are holding a gold digging competition in the desert with the symbol of dollar in their eyes. Those who have won the ranking have both money and trophies. Perhaps, in other people’s eyes, the funny person is me. In the past four years, a certificate of merit has been counted down every year. I am not ashamed of the end. However, it would be a pity if people ignore me because of my shame. Perhaps, many years later, everyone will think of me who once got nothing. When you are tired, you may think it is good for me to live like this. Until today, I finally made up my mind to buy a new card, and then sent mass messages like everyone else, and received much more responses than I imagined. I felt relieved and thought about it. Memory in my heart is memory. What can a dead object represent. At the same time, I also saw the joy on my mother’s face, as if my dream had come true. It turns out that what adults want is very simple. As long as they can see and contact their children at any time, they will be happy. Memories are always there. There is no need to stick to them and ignore the closest people around you. Calm down, recall the warmth, and pass the warmth to everyone around you who loves you.

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