There is a kind of collapse called No comfort

It is true that I am in a bad mood. I said it was inexplicable, but I knew it clearly in my heart. I just didn’t want to describe it in words, which would accelerate my collapse; Or I dared not to tell anyone the reason, fearing that those who didn’t understand would make me more painful. Therefore, if you ask me, I will always say: nothing, just feel in a bad mood for no reason, and it will be fine after the past. Then, at the moment you can’t see, you will quickly wipe off the tears that you have endured for a long time, forced to smile with you; Or simply disappear, and completely collapse in the place you can’t see. I can endure anyone’s turning a blind eye. I can pull down my face and ignore everyone. I can hide at home and watch TV and eat crazily to prevent bad emotions from being mentioned, I can also find an opportunity to have a big fight with some unlucky salesman who said something wrong. Anyway, I won’t cry until you ask why I am in a bad mood, no matter where I am, what am I doing? I will collapse. This kind of collapse is called no comfort. I always knew that I was a timid person without perseverance, and a vain and cowardly person, but I never knew that I was the most uncomfortabl person. When I was young, I accidentally fell down. First, I saw if there were any people around. If there were, I cried loudly. If not, I got up obediently. Therefore, adults always like to ridicule children, saying that this child is really a ghost. I also have such a memory that when someone is around, he will cry very exaggeratedly. At that time, I really wanted to gain sympathy and care on purpose. When I was older, I didn’t want others to see tears, so I always pretended to be strong and fell again for fear that others would see me. I never cried in front of others, only felt ashamed, find a place where nobody can cry secretly. Because you don’t think everyone will comfort you like when you were young anymore. Now you care more about maybe someone will laugh at you, or someone will complain about you, or someone will not understand you, so you are more willing to leave your grievance to yourself. After a long time, you will think that you are really strong and know what appropriateness is. You feel that you no longer need comfort, but you completely collapse after a greeting. It turns out that you are not so strong, it’s just that you won’t expect so many people any more, but you still can’t pretend to be the one you really care about. Therefore, some people will be said to be at home. She was so soft that she played tricks at home. In fact, she was not ignorant, but her vulnerability could not be concealed by the people she cared about, so she changed her way to resist her collapse. Everyone will seek comfort when she is sad, but the fact is that if she is still seeking comfort, then she is not too sad. People who are extremely sad will not seek any comfort at all. They just want to shrink in the corner silently. Because she thought she knew all the truths very well, and she knew all the things. She was just so painful that she couldn’t speak, so that no matter how much comfort she could touch. In fact, no matter what the situation is, everyone needs comfort, but she does not dare to face it. Therefore, she will not dare to reply comfort messages, answer home phone calls, and do not want to continue the topic about why, because the other end of the screen has already collapsed. When you ask her what’s wrong, she will wipe her tears and smile and say to you: the story in the movie is so touching. In fact, it is just her disguise. Some people are watching others’ stories, but they are crying. The more seemingly strong a person is, the more he can’t stand comfort. So. May I pretend to be strong so that my sadness will not affect anyone’s mood. May I pretend to be strong so that I can stay simple and no longer have any tangled encounters with anyone, may I pretend to be strong enough to keep accompanying me and never collapse. So, please don’t comfort me, please don’t let me collapse.

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