Cruel, cannot bear

One or go to Sangke prairie to gallop thousands of miles like a wild horse, dreaming of the sky. Or go to Qinghai Lake to see the cleanest heart of the Earth. Butter Flowers, murals and embroideries in the Ta’er Temple are what I yearn. I yearned to perform in the cruel April without moving or become extravagant hope. How long is the distance between extravagant hope and hopeless, and how to stride over, have not yet found the answer. Friends also have the same yearning, sorry, I broke my promise. I promised to visit Qinghai Lake with him on a weekend. Numb nerves scatter the full heart into a messy net. Hot and cold, weak, dull, silent, self-mockery. My arm hit the wall severely, and what rebounded was not pain, but numbness that had not disappeared. This numbness is like the time of Twilight, indifferent to ask for the pride of elegance. That’s it, bear it seriously. The old dream left in time is bitter medicine. Forget the bitter taste of good medicine, drink it off, and there is no lesson to fight. Destiny gives life a doomed ending. If you can’t send your life, you can only let your life work. Zhi Xiao and Qi min Finally said nothing to me. In the last two days of getting along with each other, my bad habits were all exposed, selfish, cruel, stubborn and unreasonable. Qi Min said to Zhi Xiao, don’t tell her. Besides infuriating. I agree with it. Stop talking about it. Besides, I will give up scolding. I bought a grain cake and threw it to Zhi Xiao after eating two bites. You can have some more. Can’t eat, don’t eat. If you two don’t eat, throw it away. You don’t eat, take medicine or hurt yourself. You never know heartache, and you never care that people who love you will feel heartache because of you. Qi Min finally got angry with me. I pretended to be nothing and looked at their helplessness. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I haven’t had a good meal for almost three days. Too picky, don’t eat, refuse. I talked about how poor their sense of direction was. Qi Min was really fat. I don’t know how I can be so noisy. Maybe I am really a disgusting big head ghost. Zhi Xiao once again told me to eat and take medicine on time. I said, no more mother-in-law. Hang up the phone in a hurry. Look up and see a big cloud, calm down, think about her good. In fact, you just don’t know that you don’t need me at all. What do you need me to do. I live a good life alone. No matter what you do, I have no clue. You don’t need me, but I’m sure I need you. Qi Min’s face was disconsolate and sad, and my stiff and cold words were like acupuncture at her. You have a spiritual cleanliness, right. Perhaps. I am related to A, B is related to A, and I will never be related to A. I only care about the only one. You should know. Once you didn’t give me your mobile phone, and now you don’t give me your computer. I can play qq, OK? No. I ignored her tears and continued to watch Shangri-La documentaries. After I found my boyfriend, I won’t bother you any more. I glanced at her and said indifferently, this is the best. She stopped talking and went to bed to read magazines. I was sleepy and fell asleep. No dream, only pain. I was unwell that day, and Zhi Xiao gave up her plan to continue playing. On the way to send me back, I said, when I said that you don’t have to send me back, I still hope you will come back in my heart. Zhi Xiao said, I really can’t worry about you. Zhi Xiao, you said to Qi Min, you are very sad to see my living condition this time. However, when you come, I remember that you are like a flower and I smile. My heart is happy. Zhi Xiao, hurry up and down, I am cruel. I couldn’t bear it, so I kept silent. When she said that our ten-year friendship, there were ripples in my heart, thinking for ten years, so far,. She has been very kind to me. Qi Min, you said that you know me better than yourself. Your tolerance, understanding, love dearly, love becomes arbitrary and cruel. Cruel, I don’t know how to resist or refuse. I know that at any moment, I am not fighting alone. Lifetime, cruel bear, wish. It is very good if you are happy. Second, when I was young, I always exiled myself too far away. I didn’t know how to cherish it and treated my love with cruelty. I remembered that I was unwell at that time, shouting at my father like a crazy lion. After all, those irritable moments were diluted by the wandering time. It is also good to grow up. I began to know to look at the unreasonable things at that time, which made me confused. Because of growing up, luckily, I can better experience the love I no longer get in this world. When I saw the familiar scene, I didn’t know why I hurt the close people unscrupulously, but was gentle and polite to strangers. Sometimes, I think if we are the most familiar strangers in the next life, I will give you the warmest and reassuring care. I won’t say harsh words to you, ignore your pain and make you sad for me any more. When I grow up, I will not throw away the bitter medicine any more, nor refuse to finish the cold liquid because of the pain. I really won’t have the attitude of breaking the jar any more. I will love life. It is enough to have your trust. Some pains of life have to be endured by oneself, which is irresistible. I’m seriously accepting it, you know. When I asked you to beat my arm, I joked whether I would get muscular atrophy. You said, no. I don’t think so. I want to accept all kinds of things in life with a peaceful attitude. The way to come or the way to go, you know I will bear these chaotic things after all. You are my eternal heaven, and you will never fall on sunny days. I have never talked about my feelings for her to you, but in fact, I have always loved her. Since I had that dream, I dare not mention the idea of death easily. Her pale face and tearful words put me in life. Life is not mine, but given by her. Allow me to say it once. I owe her and struggled to live for it. Whenever I think of her, my heart seems to be hollowed out, falling constantly in the dark. The feelings for her are also complicated and profound. Someone once said that her leaving was a relief. My dialogue is, but do you know how important she is to us? Why didn’t she take you away when she left? Such mean gradually faded away. Because I owe her, I can only live. She has the obligation to give me the belief of living, from endless nightmares to the whole life of missing. However, I am love her, but I don’t know. In those absurd years, I believed in something and tried to refuse something all the time. Dream tears, wake up can’t sleep. The mottled light and shadow whitewashed all the years, and the frightened dream no longer came. No longer dream, whether to say that she is doing well, then no longer care about me. I knew in my heart that I am eager for her to get close. Sticking to her warmth, it is also sweet to tell my happiness and sadness. Later, I learned to be philosophical, using the so-called philosophical to comfort the sad people. Later, I found out that I made myself a prison and tied it permanently. Perhaps, I have never stepped out, just carried out a feat of concealing my ears. The sorrow buried in the snow finally ushered in her spring. Spring is coming, and I am far away. For a long time, I lack the courage to face. Cowards are worthy of facing up to their cowards. Cruel, remember, it is best not to forget, it is the essence of life, maybe just the appearance of my life. I can’t bear it, forget it, it’s best not to remember. I don’t want to be vulnerable in front of you. If there is an afterlife, let us be the most familiar strangers. Cruelty and intolerance have nothing to do with you, please allow me to treat and love my dear strangers.

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