Loneliness is a disease

Every day, I went to class in plain clothes, shuttling back and forth alone in schools, fallen streets and small hotels where I lived. I lived in seclusion and was in the downtown, but lived a country-like life. Watching TV, listening to music and occasionally turning over Books are my days. Simple, free and boring. I don’t want to be close to others. It seems that I want to be alone, or just because of lack of confidence. Every time the landlady sees me, she says that you are such a good boy. She keeps herself in the house all day long. How about working hard? Oh, but she didn’t know. In fact, I almost fell asleep every day, even if I went to the roof to collect clothes every evening, feeling the cool wind and watching the neon lights on the other side of Xiangjiang River, I always feel loneliness that I have never felt before. Yes, even under the quiet night sky where everything seems to be about to stop, I still feel the weakness of my life, which is just a little bit, like a speck of dust floating in the world, like a Firefly with slight light under the night sky,. There is only one person in a small room, in that simple little world, I didn’t feel the noise from this city, close to the suffocating pressure, and didn’t feel that it was too empty for me to stand alone between heaven and earth. I remember when I was very young, I secretly climbed to the crossbeam of the mud house, looked at the sky quietly, and kept wondering whether it was my fairy sister who sent me to the Earth and when she would take me back, but wearing a white long coat, I walked away in a mist. It was just over, and I forgot it again, because I had a new game with my playmate, which attracted my attention. It was not until the next time my mother scolded me, or when she climbed up secretly alone at home that she would think of what I had been longing for last time. Now I think that at those times I am may be a little lonely. When I am lonely, as long as someone comes to accompany me, I will not feel it and forget it. Alone is not lonely. I didn’t know what loneliness was until I grew up and walked out of the countryside. Loneliness is that even if you are in the sea of people, you still feel that you are the only one standing in the world. No one can talk, talk and rely on. A woman once told me her story. She was wandering in the city. Because of loneliness, she wanted to find a man to comfort her, so she had to rely on her, he had a warm chest when he was sad and a comforting shoulder when he cried, but he was hurt in the end. Another boy told me that he was in a foreign land and found a woman to accompany him because of loneliness, thus he found the feeling of being like home, there was a gentle Dreamland in the boring life, and someone washed clothes, but in the end they found that they didn’t love her. Yes, it was just a love between two cold kittens, who were warm to each other under the attack of loneliness. Although we are lonely, it does not affect our normal life. People keep their inner loneliness, working, eating, making friends and shuttling through every corner of the city as usual. This is a free and commercial society. We just have a temporary intersection because of the freedom of production and sale of human beings. For example, I can tell the cashier of a certain store to pay the bill, but I would never greet a strange man or woman under the eaves of a coffee house. The reason is very simple, because I don’t know each other. This reminded me of my life when I went back to my hometown during the holiday. My mother told me that on every country road in that village, I had to say hello to everyone I met, even if only because he knew my father or mother, otherwise he would say that a child as big as me was impolite. Loneliness is a kind of disease, which originates from this city and growth. However, we have to live in the city, being forced to grow up, growing up day by day, taller and beautiful day by day; But we are lonely and lonely in our hearts. I accidentally saw a TV program called Fengyun in the sleepless night. I like a woman who is not beautiful but elegant, holding a guitar, she sang a nice song in a slightly hoarse voice. Her name was Cha Kexin. In this lonely city, I just hid myself in an unknown house. If you don’t look at the night sky outside the window, the sad or warm neon lights, and the people swimming in the red wine, you can only turn on the TV or radio to find a favorite channel when you lose sleep in the early morning, listen to clean music and beautiful thoughts. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Perception 23

For many years, I have been walking like this, always thinking that life is just like this: 23 years ago today, I was lucky to come to this world, naked, without any flaws, just like jade. At that time, I started shouting, but I didn’t know what I wanted in tears. 22 years ago today, I was also lucky to stay in this world, ignorant, without any doubt, just like a cartoon. At that time, I began to learn to walk happily in my parents’ sight. But I don’t know that it will hurt if I fall down. Today, 21 years ago, I was lucky to spend 730 days and nights. Happy, without any consideration, just like a prince. At that time, I began to learn to play coquetry on my father’s shoulder and mother’s arms. But I don’t know, my sister’s jealous eyes. Today, 20 years ago, I was lucky to have the first playmate in my memory. Next door, with braid, was like a brother. At that time, we began to play and play in the most Virgin manner. Play House. Knowing it. After all, she and I are different from each other. Today, 19 years ago. I got my first schoolbag happily. Yellow. Single with shoulder bag. Old-fashioned general. At that time, I used it to load my toys full of hopes and hopes. Knowing it. What’s the use of sticks and soil 18 years ago today. I walked into the iron gate on my mother’s back. Cold. There is no temperature at all, the prison is just so so. At that time, I began to learn 1234578910. Knowing it. How much is left behind? 17 years ago today, I know she is my first grade head teacher, beautiful. White dress. Mother General. Then. Under her attention, I learned the pronunciation and writing of Chinese characters. But I don’t know, she will restrain me for 3 years. Today, 16 years ago, I was severely punished by my mother for the first time and regretted it. Full of tears, begging. At that time, I began to know that I shouldn’t play in others’ wheat fields, but I didn’t know that plants originally had life and emotion. Today, 15 years ago. For the first time, I stood on the podium, proud and full of hope, just like victory. At that time, I started to help the classmates around me, but I didn’t know that there were so many differences among the classmates in the same classroom. Today, 14 years ago. The head teacher was replaced by a fat man with serious and sparse hair, just like a wicked person. At that time, I was afraid of his father’s majesty, but I didn’t know that he was the father of my classmate and the lover of the former head teacher. Today, 13 years ago. It was my first time to sit at the same table with a girl. I was shy and drew a border on the desk. I was ignorant. At that time, I knew that all my playmates were bathing naked by the river. But I don’t know that the river has been muddy by us. Today, 12 years ago. My mother took me to the downtown for sightseeing for the first time. I was excited. Lingering and intoxicating. At that time, I knew that cities were more fun than rural areas, but I didn’t know that there was also peace that cities couldn’t match in our rural areas. 11 years ago today. I stepped into the gate of middle school. Timid, fearful head and feet, just like hometown bar. At that time, I knew that senior senior students in middle school were fond of trouble, but I didn’t know that they once had the same experience. Today, 10 years ago. I started my first wet dream in my life. I was confused, nervous, and seriously ill. At that time, I knew that hair had emerged from my lower body, but I didn’t know how the physiology class would talk about this. Today, 9 years ago, I received an anonymous love letter, confused, at a loss, sleepwalking. At that time, I knew there was a festival called April Fool’s Day, but I didn’t know whether that LY was really fooling me? 8 years ago today, I can swim across the 50-meter River independently. I am proud of my blood boiling and twitching. At that time, I knew I was better than ordinary boys, but I didn’t know what was the world record of the Olympic Games? Today, 7 years ago, I began to learn the art of smoking. Anaesthesia, smoke and mist, just like taking drugs. At that time, I thought. Smoking is nothing more than fun, but I don’t know. Nicotine can also be addictive. Today, 6 years ago. I started my first love in my life. I was happy, strolling beyond the field and being so charming. At that time, I found that love really made people forget about sleeping and eating, but I didn’t know that it also made people unable to extricate themselves. Today, 5 years ago. The bad news of the college entrance examination completely extinguished the hope of parents. Cold, staring at my eyes, biting. At that time, I knew. The college entrance examination is a hell, but I don’t know where the road under my feet leads? Today, 4 years ago. The back of the break-up was pulled down in the dim light. It was lonely, opposite to the south, just like the cold wind. At that time, I smelt the moon and the wind was high, but I couldn’t smell it. That would be the last time we met. Today, 3 years ago. The dialect of my college classmates opened my eyes. Crappy, everywhere. Singing General. At that time, I learned many dialects, but I didn’t know that it was so difficult to learn high mathematics in college. Today, 2 years ago. I and 3 a fellow with catch up drink. The past events were vivid in my mind, and the diary was just so-so. At that time, I knew that love was not a metaphysics, but I didn’t know whether this form was the same need for me. Today, 1 year ago. I started to write my graduation thesis, which was unfamiliar, unconstrained and ordinary. At that time, I knew that the pressure of employment was great. But I don’t know whether this society can have my place. Just today, I spent 23-year-old birthday. Busy work takes up most of my rest time. Simply celebrate for myself. A piece of cake. A candle, a can of beer and a pack of cigarettes. It was also a person who echoed Jiang Tao’s sad “birthday gift” in the enlarged room and looked back on the past. So clear, and so vague and distant. Perhaps, in others’ view: I am indifferent passers-by, wandering in the city of colored glaze, building their own fortress in the unreal network; Perhaps, in others’ view: I am proud loser, wandering in the ups and downs of the world, escaping in the world of red wine; Perhaps, in other people’s eyes: I am beggar of love, begging in the romantic melon fields, picking up petals in the bright sea of roses; Maybe, however, I am still a sober wanderer. In the bustling city, I can still find myself and remember the past bit by bit;, I am still my own God, the smooth interpersonal relationship and indifferent world can not destroy my principles of life and attitude towards life; However, I am still an emotional rich man, hypocritical and friendly, the catering of interests always let me know that the truth is so precious; Therefore, I still spend this special day quietly, and the refreshing fragrance of gardenia floated on the windowsill, the whole room was quiet and intoxicating, with a cool look. Occasionally there are several stars shining in the clouds in the night sky. There is no moonlight, no birds singing, and no trickle streams. But in this city which is completely made of steel and concrete-Chengdu said, can’t I be satisfied with such an environment? Chengdu, tonight, I will lose sleep for you again Like (prose editor: Ke Er) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

No branch

No branch The fragrance of tea becomes mellow, because it can’t stand the washing of the long waiting years. Sometimes, there is no direction, like the lost meteor has not passed through the atmosphere and has been shattered to pieces. I often wonder whether the mainstream abandoned itself or betrayed the mainstream. It was a feeling of no branches to live on, and the free heart was blank. In addition to the annoying depressed atmosphere. From time to time, he looked up to the sky and hissed, as if he was a little unsatisfied Qianli horse, telling the God the injustice. I am an outdated bird without a companion, just like a plant standing alone in the vast desert, which has no branches to live on and looks helpless. Therefore, I have to choose loneliness, which is the only choice to live on. I long for a tree, waiting for me to live or stay with me. Most of the time, words are logical, just like many times, life is emotional, and you can’t help moving. I once thought that I was very indifferent, like an eagle, hovering in the vast sky and despising the world. I have no branches to live on, and I can only stay on the cliff, which is the destination of an eagle. I tried hard, hard, and desperately. In fact, your wings determine your flying height. Too much exhaustion can only make you more frustrated and at a loss, because life can only be content with the status quo. Struggle, in some sense, is just a kind of vain, just like the branches of autumn. Life is destined that you must drop your green, and your struggle can only be a tragedy. I don’t want to complain about life, nor do I want to complain about myself. Life is as plain as water, and I have never been innocent. Those regrets can only aggravate your hunger imbalance and aging appearance. If you regret, it can only be regarded as disrespect for your own life and blasphemy against yourself. Therefore, I don’t want to regret. History can only record those glorious destinies, while for plain life, it can only be filled in with blank space. Therefore, I am glad that there is a blank space belonging to me in history. Confused, my most realistic life could not find an exit and had no direction at all. It was a kind of torture, but also a kind of pain and fatigue without branches. Giving up, or it is a kind of beauty, just like breaking up, and when there is goodbye, breaking up may miss a period of beauty, but who can guarantee that the next time I want to see it, it is better than this break-up. Life needs to give up and be confused. Confusion is even more the whole of life, just like soberness is the topic that people pursue forever. I am not unfortunate, but lucky to be confused, and my life is full of fantasy and longing, pain and no branches to live. It is a kind of scenery to live without branches, or a kind of sad beauty of confusion. Romantic, which makes people feel a mysterious atmosphere in fantasy and longing, makes themselves feel a kind of sadness with blood in their eyes in pain and confusion. There are no branches to live in. Most of the time, I try hard to uncover the veil which is as thin as a cicada’s wing, but it is always out of reach. It is a kind of estrangement between reality and soberness, that is a kind of mystery that cannot be touched and peeled off. There are no branches to live on, which makes people feel a feeling that they want to help but cannot give, and makes people feel a pity. This is neither my sorrow nor their fault. All this should be due to a defect of life itself. Perhaps, my thought itself is a mistake. Maybe life itself is the combination of confusion and soberness, or life without branches is life and thought itself. Now, I have no branches to live on. Like (prose editor: Dielianhua) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Life to 22

Standing at the bustling crossroads, Gu looked around, but saw the devastated heart of the city. I wanted to find my own paradise, but I was lost by the messy background. In this way, I was lost in the crowd, unable to see the front or retreat. I wanted to hear the voice of my heart, but heard the sadness that hurt my heart. Once upon a time, I was also full of expectation that I could grow up quickly, make any decisions by myself without others’ orders and arrangements, and no longer ask my parents for money for the ice cream of 50 cents on the corner, you can ignore the arrangement and combination that the teacher wrote with chalk on the blackboard, and you don’t have to be afraid of those funny ghost stories in the dark night. Look at me now, but my heart is so melancholy, I wish I could solve a few more questions that I couldn’t solve at that time, and I could play coquetry with my parents for the ice cream of 50 cents as I did in my childhood, I began to doubt my life when I could still listen to my classmate’s sleepless night because of playing tricks on Ghost Stories. When life went on to 22, youth just began to sprout, just like a painting to be continued waiting to outline its appearance. When I was young, my dreams flickered with sad music, moved step by step with my body hurt by youth, and moved forward with my scabbed but bloody heart. Maybe life is an irresistible journey. During the journey, I went through thorns, desert, plain, hurt, pain, tears and sweat. The scars on my body and heart were all marks left by youth. No matter how painful it is, at least it proves that we have been young. In the past when the smoke was drunk and floating, the emotion gradually became heavy, but the surprise beside the scarlet letter on the paper roll was no longer obsessed by us. It was not until we stepped on the rules they said about keeping the dust one by one that we found that we had already come to the future to separate and struggle. After several years of rain, now we are finally wandering at the edge of the city. Will we suddenly find that our pace is back to the origin of parallel lines of memory unconsciously until the end of the world. I think this is the cost of growing up in youth. Just a few minutes before I wrote this article, I was still confused. I doubted my value and didn’t know what on earth I should do and what was suitable for me. But I suddenly understand that this is youth. In adolescence, we will be confused, lose our direction in the noisy world, and even begin to doubt the specific meaning of our coming to this strange world. It is like a caterpillar breaking its cocoon and becoming a butterfly. It takes time and pain to accumulate, and our life is also changing, but everyone and every life have different forms of transformation. So we don’t have to worry about why fate is so unfair to us, but we don’t know that someone else may be envious of your beautiful life. Life is like a dream, several times of joy, several times of sorrow. Life is a mixed wine. Youth is like fall Palm of water, whether we spread out or clenched, will eventually the fingers between 1.1 by drop of flowing have all. There are always mistakes in life, no matter what you have done, please don’t regret, because regret is a kind of spirit-consuming emotion, and regret is a greater loss than loss, A greater error than an error. I firmly believe that the memory is sweet until the end of my life. Like (prose editor: dancing alone with rain) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

Years streamer

In the rules of this world, time is the eternal law, which erodes the quicksand of time, takes away the appearance of life and cannot stay. The universe arranged by God is like creating the illusion of everything. The planet is full of sunshine and dreams, and warm as the harbor in childhood sleep dream, but in the deep of the distant universe, darkness and silence occupy the boundless world, even places that cannot be reached in dreams. It seems like a nightmare that cannot escape. Consciousness is confined in the materialistic body. The body cannot escape from this heaven and earth. This heaven and earth cannot rush out of the boundless universe and dark night. Where are we going on Earth. In the footprints run by time, the dreams and lives we have gone through are vaguely echoed in this familiar sunshine. Maybe in the distant afternoon, who will listen to that ancient legend, the chanting Sanskrit. Lonely walking, accompanied by light and shadow, we always face the sunshine, leaving our memories in places where the light cannot shine. We perform various dance steps, moving forward along the path of Destiny, crossing to the other end of life. In the last dream, those figures under the sun are the nostalgia of life, or the imaginary projection in the hazy, maybe the warmth is always with the heart, when we wake up in the dream, there was always a hint of light leaking into the window. Dozens of years of Spring and Autumn period, countless dreams, from childhood to maturity, we gradually see autumn leaves drifting at our feet. It turns out that loneliness always exists with human nature, those codes in the deepest heart, who can recite a whisper and fly the flickering candlelight in the dark. Time cannot repeat itself in the same space-time. Ticking is the passing of life, and the moment light appears in front of us, the wheel of life cannot stop. Every moment we mature, grow old, get together and leave. The Buddha said that nine hundred people were born and died at a moment, and so were the vicissitudes. We could not resist the unknown power and dissipate in our own world with full hope. The ethereal song echoed in the towering temple corridor. Who evoke the lingering of the past and the present? The long lamp hung high on the eaves, lit up the imprint of the past, and prayed to dream the song of floating life again. The unbearable weight of life is the grace of God. Only human beings are the spiritual leader. You can laugh, think, experience all kinds of things in the world, enjoy civilization, those shallow and deep bits, for what we have, to this paradise, to decorate the desolation of the universe, our lucky world. In the shadow under the sun, there are happy music beating, the unknown future, those children’s faces that were once faint, and the years flow through here, moving forward quietly. Say goodbye to the appearance of the past, remember the brilliance of your years and mine, and walk to the deepest part of the years with dreams. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the snow in spring Spring elimination snow, multi-the yao nian, unspoken. Reading from afar, it is just above that snowfield. The snow is really beautiful, after all it is spring… Waiting Waiting is a kind of persistence, sticking to a certain belief and never giving up. Maybe because of a certain commitment, or because of a certain… Be good at listening to different voices and opinions On October 6th, I published a travel essay: “beautiful autumn scenery”, which was obtained by many literary websites… Read The Bridges of Madison County “When the white moth spreads its wings, you can come to me at any time”. I think, if I am a man, be accepted… From today on, I want to be happy I read “the biography of Hulan River” long time ago, and I remember that I was really in a heavy mood for a long time. Which characters caused me… Sick time I sneezed one after another these days. I said someone was reading me and others said I was sick. Finally, the doctor also said I was…

If time has an old face

Women are red apples when they are not married, green apples when they are married, yellow apples after a few years of marriage, rotten apples and rotten bananas in the rest years. The most painful and fearful feeling of a woman is that with the precipitation of time, her beauty will not appear, dim and pale, and the flowers will bloom and fade. Zhang Ailing suggested that people should be famous early and young. At the age of seven or eighty, I am responsible and know the destiny. Walking alone in the end of the world, lonely and lonely, the people who love and accompany you leave you, leaving you painful memories. Women always keep the mentality of red apple and refuse to be deep and crafty in the city; After the washing of time and calm, after the training of life, they still face it calmly. Material money cannot tempt women’s heart. Women’s happiness is based on sweet language, imagination of romance and life, away from tacky, pursue to remember their own men a lot, choose more than enough space, proud woman is like a princess. Women should always keep the charm of green apples, green and chewing-resistant. Women’s aura can sweep across the ocean, but they are mature, deep and restrained, without affectation or publicity, knowing the bitterness of life without being discouraged and depressed. Women can mobilize all the charms and resources that women possess. In interpersonal communication and career life, they can communicate with people around freely, just like a fish in water, believing that the world belongs to women, only when there is a woman’s life can there be color. A woman gives her heart to a man and gives it to life. There are both romance of love and happiness of life. Among them, the sentimental emotions may also conquer those who look at you secretly. Reality and imagination have both, where there are women, there will be prosperity, economic development and material abundance. Women should refuse the qualification of yellow apple. The smell of yellow apple is not worth recalling. Her face is sallow and her heart is sluggish and yellow. After experiencing the changes of emotions such as romance, jealousy, anger, loss and so on, and a series of blows of life, women are engraved on their faces. Women are a little tired and their hearts are ups and downs, the battered woman once again raised her emotions, re-selected her life, chose her own goal, and looked at everyone’s everything with wisdom and what kind of life she wanted, when you can’t change others, you can change yourself, live freely, calmly, gracefully and happily, and refuse the imprints carved on your face by years. Love should be deep, heart should be ruthless, and happiness cannot wait. Understand that time treats everyone equally. As long as you keep a young and not old heart, women will live a glorious life. They will get what they want and ignore the world. Success and failure are all in laughter. Women are rotten apples, which are in the eyes of bystanders, in their families, relatives and children, women are sweet babies, lovely and respectable sweet babies. As long as a woman refuses to be old in her heart, she will not be old. She believes that time has an old face. Like (prose editor: Shu Kuang) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

I began to understand, putting down is the most beautiful!

Standing at the port at the end of the year, looking at the years I have gone through, walking all the way, losing all the way! The past and the past are gone forever. The present and the future are still going on. Life is long. I have gone through 30 years. The stories that happened in these 30 years are still treasured in my memory. Wounds and pains in love, happiness and sadness in life, happiness and hesitation in marriage, happiness and confusion in work emerged in front of my eyes one by one, which made me begin to understand, down is most beautiful! Inscription [hurt and pain in love] the 18-year-old flower season was defeated by the bitter secret love. The 19-year-old flower season was still cloudy with bitter feelings. My flower season was no longer bright, and I recalled my heart hurt again! The pen is still the same, the paper is still the same, and the environment is as before. Love is not the same, people are not the same, writing, time flooded the footprints of the past, the wind blew away yesterday’s tears, the future road, who can walk with me? Life is also like an illusion, in a daze at a loss. Although I hang myself on a tree that does not stand for me, although I can’t blossom or bear fruits, however, so what? I was in bitter love with this man who didn’t belong to me, and rejected all the boys who loved me ruthlessly. I was crazy only for this man and refused all the roses held by admirers. Even though I was dejected and scarred, I was still so addicted and couldn’t hold myself! Is he my disaster or the I am of boys? I am stupid for this man, and the boy is crazy for me! How helpless life is. The people I love so much dare not say love to me. Those who insist on waiting for me will hurt me constantly! Love is a kind of self-emotion from the bottom of the heart, an unreserved self-dedication, and a natural true feeling. People who know love will make his love, whether successful or defeated, become moving poems. People who don’t understand love don’t know how to cherish it when they own it, but don’t know how to end it when they lose it. They live up to God’s gift to him! This sentence is collected by me in SJ sayings of love, which always makes my eyes full of tears. Do I belong to the second category? For the real love around you, you don’t know how to cherish it, and keep your stubborn heart on the red rope of the unreal and non-existent love! For countless nights, I was speechless with myself, shed tears to the stars, and shouted to the sky: I will give up my bitter love eventually! After struggling, I picked it up again. Bitter Love, want to give up, but can’t give up! Juaner’s life is really a little sad! In a winter when rape flowers bloom brightly, I finally made up my mind to let go. The oncoming good, holding the Red Azalea in my hand, opened my heart and washed away the pain in my secret love, it wiped away the wounds in my heart and set foot on juan’er’s road without regrets! I began to understand that bitter love only has endless sadness for me, and putting down is the most beautiful! [Happiness and sadness in life] there are always inexplicable unhappiness and annoyance in life, although I follow the rules and live a regular life every day. After work, I went home and went out in the office, which seemed to be the 2.1 line. It seemed that the days were calm and normal. However, people’s heart is always insufficient. Every time I see myself living a plain life in a hurry, my heart begins to rise and fall, a little stirring, a little self-pity and a little sigh! Some hope! I always feel that my life is too ordinary, and I always feel that my life should be more brilliant. Therefore, inexplicable troubles are full of my heart, and sadness begins to appear on the face that once loved to laugh. There is no intriguing struggle in work, no complexity of daily necessities in life, and no hard-won gap in money. In fact, shouldn’t I be happy? The inexplicable sadness, isn’t it because you are looking for troubles? Life is long, walking in the transparent and simple life, I began to understand, good health, harmonious family, smooth work, happy baby grow up, how can juaner still be sad? [Happiness and hesitation in marriage] Jia is a very careful husband, who only devotes himself to paying for the family, obtaining needs and wealth for me and my baby, and never fails to go home because of social engagement, I will not stay outside for no reason. Always appear in the sight of me and my baby before I go home. I will always be busy in the kitchen silently and watch happily. My baby and I will sweep away the delicious food on the table, then I was very satisfied to clean up the bowl and chopsticks. However, Jia likes silence. I am a little woman who loves laughing, singing, dancing and talking, she always leaves hearty laughter and cheerful singing around her. However, every time I went home, I always answered with silence in the face of my enthusiastic inquiries and laughter. Therefore, I was annoyed. Under the edification of the silent world, I gradually fell in love with silence and beauty in the silent world! I was once very confused, thinking that we had no love, I was once very confused, thinking that we had no yearning, but the marriage changes of friends around me were involved with the third party, and the appearance of red and pink men, it scares me a little. Go home and face the good things that have been paid silently in the past 11 years. I feel warm in my heart. In this messy emotional world, in this prosperous society, I began to understand that love is not words, marriage is not love, and marriage only has family affection, only day after day, silently giving year after year, is juaner happy? [Happiness and confusion at work] the year I left home was 99, and I chose Meng Jie. A little girl who just entered the society set foot on the journey of realizing her dream with dreams and hopes. I devoted 9 years of time and energy there. In 9 years, I have laughed, cried, hesitated, and tasted the ups and downs of life. Finally, I chose to leave, because I didn’t get what I wanted and didn’t realize my original dream. Although I was very careful and hardworking, I was very depressed, I spent the best 9 years in my life, but finally I still got nothing. Without getting what I desired, I left suddenly! The first time I saw this company, I stopped. The reason was very simple. Because my husband’s name was good, I walked into this company for the first time and saw the red signboard and the red layout. My eyes lit up for a while, the reason is very simple, because I love red, so I chose this company! Although I am is geographically blind, I work in the logistics industry and deal with cities and regions all day long. Although I am a math blind, I work in finance and deal with numbers all day long. Once I was also very confused. I liked words, but I could only stick in the piles of numbers every day, letting countless Arabic numbers jump in front of my eyes and emerging moving chapters, I have no taste at all! Many times, I always stopped the calculator in my hand and ran into the pile of words to seek happiness, which inevitably caused damage to my work. Gradually, life and reality are distinguished in my mind, and I have figured out the real books in my mind. I have learned that words can only be my spiritual accomplishment, numbers are the way for me to obtain wealth and the foundation for my survival in real life! The new year is approaching, juaner looks back on the past again. The wounds and pains in love, happiness and sadness in life, happiness and hesitation in marriage, happiness and confusion in work emerge in front of my eyes one by one, it makes me understand, putting down is the most beautiful! Like (prose editor: Ke Er) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Actually very strong

I am very good, I am very good, so I must be strong and keep working hard. Although I have lost my motivation and been chasing, I always take such a small step and lose my dependence. I have learned to bear it, in fact, it’s very good. I can’t find lost memories when I grow up. I die in the bottom of my heart, but occasionally there are ripples. The happiness at the corner of the street, the warmth of tears, wiping away the remnants at the corner of my eyes, the road still, although I am the only one who doesn’t want to lie to myself, I pretend to be strong, and behind the smile is the unknown sadness. Night is the best hiding. One is lonely, one is heartbroken, and one drinks tears to taste the lonely sorrow oath, lies, promises, jokes, I have always been unable to find the truth. I have always believed in all the good things. Even if the results given to me completely collapsed, I still believe, because of faith, I won’t cry any more without doubt when I leave. Maybe my tears have run out, maybe I still keep them for you. I have faced a lot alone. The life of one person is very good. There is no need to worry about or remember, there is no yearning, praying and blessing, and loving yourself for yourself. The world is not around someone. Missing is stored in the bottom of my heart, no longer hurting yourself for whom, no one is who, no one will be with whom for the whole life. The evil fate is actually a test. If you walk out, everything will be better. There is always someone waiting for you, waiting for you for the whole life. Don’t stop in pain, let the wind blow away the annoyance, tidy up the mood, don’t look back after starting and turning around, don’t worry when choosing, everyone has his own pride, don’t abandon your only dignity for that worthless emotion. I also used to be brilliant and admit defeat. Strong or weak. The sea and rocks once withered and broken will disappear. Will I be strong, loneliness will listen to me, not all lovers in the world will be together, your back, just want to remember that the farther back can not tell the distance of tears, my memories stay in the trap you designed, when will you throw me away and don’t want to retain me? There is no tenderness I want in your eyes. After separation, you pretend to be indifferent without a drop of tears. In fact, you still can’t kill every bit of tears, just learn to smile, say goodbye to displeasure, accept pleasure, I will change, try to let myself learn the happiness of a person, without your happiness, maybe my heart is really numb, without the real feeling Like (prose editor: Shu Kuang) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

Pick a rose for yourself

All the hustle and bustle finally calmed down at this moment. In such a quiet scenery, open a piece of music in the cool music to cherish this plain and narrow period of time. March came quietly without expectation or joy. Birthday, an unmemorable day, came as promised. Life has passed for more than 30 years unconsciously. Whether I am willing or not in the wasted years, I will eventually grow old again. Sometimes I can’t help asking myself: How much have you remembered and how much have you forgotten the experience of this life? How many days have you ever been willing to mention memories you don’t want to forget after many years? Things in the world are always like waking up from a big dream. When I look back, I find that the time has passed for thousands of years, and the moment I once cared about is not worth mentioning. In fact, I am not a sentimental person, but I always like to touch some sad words and watch sad dramas. Maybe I am just willing to release my tangled emotions with tears? Just like the colorful inner world is used to wearing a black dress without facial expression for four seasons? Or just for your ordinary hidden crowd. Perhaps, most of the time, we are involuntarily sentimental, without warning or any reason, which is like an instinct hidden deep in our soul, when you are happy, you will try your best to describe yourself with high spirits. When you are unhappy, let melancholy spread and loneliness bury yourself. And everyone knows that no one in this world can dominate and influence his own life except himself, including marriage and love. Mature mind and strong heart determine his own quality of life. Life is our own. Every day and every happiness will not be given casually by God. We need to capture and feel with open mind and gratitude. Along the way, after several joys and sorrows, several degrees of loneliness, there has been no mood of joy and sorrow in my heart. If I can’t be indifferent, I will not be as young and frivolous. And should this be a mature body or a mark of aging? Pick a rose for yourself, for the vanishing youth, the memory of not being old, and the true self of tomorrow. Like (prose editor: yuiran) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…

The original dream

At that time, flowers blossomed, and your smile embellished our helplessness in youth and frivolous. There is a mountain, the blooming season of Malan orchid, we lie in disorder, looking at the blue sky above our heads, longing for a free world. Too many words are silent, so we learn to be silent and communicate with each other with one eye. Seventeen Eagles with broken wings lay sadly on the sunny mountain, and the gentle breeze blew their tired hearts. Looking at the glittering tears flowing from the flying Sky, who would pick up those injured footprints and pray silently every winter, making their fragile hearts surpass. Now I have already lost the light blue and clear sky above my head. In a small town in Jiangnan, sometimes I feel sad inexplicably. Some people say: we are isolated islands in the vast sea of people. I drew out my sword for fear of hurting the backbone of the world, so I chose to shrink from one corner to another for fear of hearing the noise and harsh pain of the world. But in the journey of yearning for the front again and again, I hid all the pain, with a hypocritical smile on my face, stepping on it slowly, when I was sad, only I tighten in the corner and keep crying. But when I packed up everything and prepared to go on the road happily, the harsh sound of the world broke my wound again and again. Question: Are people destined to seek liberation in pain and sorrow and trace of happiness in their whole life? Buddha said: If the heart is like a bright mirror, where is the dust dyed. And in this world, who can surpass the secular world and emerge into an immortal. Thousands of worlds, all living beings. We are just ordinary grains of sand. What’s the joy of life and what’s the pain of death. What is rare is that don’t lose your way in the ups and downs again and again, and you can find your own position. I felt at ease and longed for myself to be an Eagle, soaring in that blue and getting rid of all fetters. But these can never be realized. It’s just a dream, a desire, and a search for some relief after being injured in reality again and again. Will you see each other’s shadows in a street or a supermarket tomorrow. Shaking in the crowd, the seventeen eagles that once broke their wings ran away from each other in the boundless blood-stained earth again and again. I can’t find the shadow of flying, how many of them have been submerged in the deep valley, 17 Eagles, 17 young people who don’t understand the world, made mistakes in the young and frivolous, and broke the wings to fly, it is God’s least punishment for them. What we can do has been done in the name of love by those who love us the most. What can young you and me do? Meet those familiar things that cannot be familiar on the desert islands. But at a loss, we were defeated in this way. If you are an eagle, you have to accept the test of life and death from the sky to the valley again and again, so that you can develop the wings of the blue sky. If you are a steed, you have to turn up in the fall of running again and again to practice the good foal galloping on the battlefield. Goshawls, steeds and animals still seek free space in sufferings to show their own elegant demeanour. Friends, and what about us? How many people’s dreams have been broken by those in the name of love, breaking their wings and softening their muscles and bones. And we also learned to sit still and die. Can’t you fall down in the storm again and again? Are you just waiting for others to send you leftovers? Those who love us most will also end in prosperity on the train of time forever. There is a long way to go, how can you go on? Please give us free space and wings to fly. And we also need to look for the free space belonging to us, those lost dreams, and set up sails to sail far away! Only with dreams can we have a future. Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) change the way to continue to stay with this city I went out at 6 o’clock in the morning and came back at almost 8 o’clock in the evening. From beginning to end, I only welcomed myself with silence; Since I went to college, on weekends… [Original essay] string words Since winter, the sky is dry and the snow is misty. The whole earth is desolate and empty. Whether your mood is like a year, or… Forever military dream Forever military Dream (Ma Xiaochun, Kangle county, Gansu province) memories are like meteors, passing through the unmarked and blurred eyes, and the outline gradually… Spring rain I like spring rain like everything on the Earth. Just after the new year, the sky began to rain. I really like the spring in Jiangnan… Plucked the snowflakes of Dreams (modified) Near the new year, the first snow fell. I was surprised to read a long scroll in the morning, the white one is snow, and the gray one is tree… Self The fashion is transient, and the style is permanent. Things that can shine on others may not be put here. In…